Not A Love Letter [KNJ] ✔

0.4

Dear Kim Nam-motherfuckingadorableassdimplehoe-joon
I loved you so much
Well I still kinda love you
But, let's just not think about this
You made me feel so much bullshit it's not even funny
When we first started talking I was suspicious knowing you hung out with them but then you sent me some letters and I responded with my own.
It was wonderful and it had my heart jumping around
It was such a great feeling for such a bad person.
You ruined me for the better.
Until it wasn't for the better.
Cause after a while I feel like you just wanted to watch me crash and burn along with the world.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm positive that you
Never loved me.
But I loved you, oh so much.
Maybe one day you'll find all my other letters and feel pity for me and my pathetic mind and emotions.
Hopefully you don't see them though, I don't need anyone knowing how much I felt that feeling
That once nice feeling that still gets put in my chest when I see you.
That feeling that we call
Love.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard to make this seem like I hate you but it's really fucking hard.
My mind knows that I should be telling you to eat dirt, but everything else is telling me to come crawling back to you.
Luckily my pride is bigger than anything else, so guess who won't get to make a fool of me again.
I can't believe how stupid I was to even acknowledge you in the first place.
You truly were my fjrst for everything.
My first person I've acknowledged.
My first person that acknowledged me.
My first true friend.
My first love.
My first heartbreak.
But at least you can feel better about the fact that you aren't my first hate!
Anyway, I feel like I'm getting off track.
Let's get back on it shall we?
I really thought you'd be different
That you'd actually accept me
Appreciate me
Love me
But then again, I'm a dumbass
A fool
A love struck fool
I want you to know that even though I keep writing about how much I love you and will probably continue to love you don't even trY AND THINK THAT THIS IS A LOVE LETTER!
BECAUSE IT'S NOT!
THIS
IS
NOT
A
LOVE
LETTER!
GET IT IN YOUR HEAD!
THAT BEAUTIFUL, HOT, FLAWLESS, IDOL-MODEL-LOOKING ASS FACE OF YOURS BETTER LOOK HURT AFTER READING THIS!

I'm sorry.
But, this is an official goodbye.
Not like a suicidal goodbye, but a I'm-moving-to-the-US-and-no-it's-not-because-of-you goodbye.