Slaying Goliath

Chapter 13

It was Saturday morning. Belinda was sitting on the sofa. She ached all over from all the crying and hadn't had much sleep. Jen was at work, so she had the flat to herself. She was looking into her coffee cup wishing this pain would go away.

She was miserable. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to say that? He didn't love her. How could he love her? He had every woman on the planet wanting him. She wasn't the woman for him.

She had googled him. She kicked herself that she didn't think to do that before all this blew up. It was all there. There were multiple video clips of his 'dancing'. She was such a fool. When he'd told her that he was a dancer, she had thought that his dancing would be more Andrew Lloyd Webber and less Debbie-does-Dallas. She didn't even think to ask him.

And then there was the Movie. Jen had streamed it and forced her to watch it while they ate a bucket of ice-cream. The Beast was Tarzan-meets-Fiftyshades in its plot. It was hot, there was no denying that, aimed at the female audience it did a good job at portraying him as desirable. The many sex scenes had made her squirm, but she watched them. They were therapy. If she could see him as something else, then maybe she'd forget how he looked at her.

It didn't work. They were sexy, but they weren't him. It looked like him, but he didn't behave like the Josh she knew. There were similarities to what they had done but the differences were pronounced. That guy, Goliath or whatever his name was, didn't make love like Josh did. That guy had none of the trails that made her love Josh.

The knock on the door surprised her. She got up and opened the door before she thought about it.

"Hi Belinda," Drew was standing there looking uncomfortable, "He's not here."

She didn't realise that she was looking for him.

"Can I come in?" he asked as he shuffled his feet.

She let him in. She wasn't sure why but it she couldn't turn him away.

"Is everything alright?" she asked as he looked a little shell shocked.

"No," he said simply, "No, it isn't. Look Belinda, I have no right to be here, but I need to do this."

"What's wrong, is it?" she asked and then found that she couldn't say his name.

He was holding a newspaper. He showed her the page. There was a picture of Josh looking intoxicated as his friends dragged him off. The storyline read – The Beast Washed Up? She skimmed her eyes over the words. It talked about his poor performance during the Friday night show, questioning whether he was drunk during the dancing. Afterwards he'd gone out and ended up getting into fights. She didn't know what to say.

"I'm not doing this to make you feel guilty," Drew said in a soft voice, "There is something about Josh you don't understand."

"Josh? I thought his name was Jay or is it JJ?" she sounded bitter even to herself.

"His birth name was Joshua McClean," he looked down at the picture in the paper, "But he doesn't use that name at all. I've never heard him use that name. He doesn't talk about Josh McMasters either. Josh McMasters was the man he wanted to be, before he lost his voice. He's JJ Masters to everyone now, including us, his friends. The fact he gave you that name, showed us how important you were to him."

"What do you want Drew?" she felt tired.

"Remember the other night? Remember how you told me that you were envious of me? Remember how you said that it was a rare thing to have friends like my friends?" Drew caught her eyes, "I am envious of you. Josh isn't like us. He's lost everything once and he protects what he has and doesn't take chances like we do. He doesn't get close to people. He even has this no-kissing rule. He is always in control. He's not who you accused him of being."