Imperfect Freedom

Fourteen

"The nurses told me I get to leave tomorrow." Elle tells me on my daily visit to the hospital, one week after.

"Really? Already? Damn, I was enjoying not having you around." I tell her. She punches me lightly on the shoulder and I grin. "Just kidding."

"Well I'm not." She says, sitting up in bed and frowning at me. "I'm seriously worried."

"What about, the people who don't want you at the CD?" I ask curiously, trying to lighten her tone. She shakes her head.

"No, I'm worried about the people who do want me there. Mae, we skipped an experiment. That's gonna come with some serious costs. I mean, they've been planning this for months, years even, and then we just back out. They're going to kill us."

My eyes must widen at that last part because she sighs. "Not literally Mae. It's an expression."

I nod and my cheeks burn. "Right. I knew that."

She sighs. Her light blonde hair falls over her almost-grey eyes and she blows it away softly. She looks worried, yet she still looks confident, calm and collected.

"I don't know. I'm scared."

I smile. "Well, considering we are nine year olds involved in the beginning of a rebellion and that is the first time you've ever said that in front of me, I find that pretty impressive."

I expect her to laugh, or at least smile but instead she just purses her lips, her eyes faraway and scared.

"Do you really think they're starting a rebellion?" She asks. I sigh.

"Electra, of course they're starting a rebellion. It's the complex defiance. They've been starting a rebellion since they were made."

I feel as though the roles have been reversed. It was usually me asking the questions and her giving the sarcastic answers, but this time she is the one that is being scared.

Elle shakes her head. "I know, but what if it's for real this time?"

There is silence for a moment as I think about it. Was it for real? I didn't think so. Was there really a rebellion starting? Wouldn't we know? The more I think about it, the more nervous I get.

"We wouldn't know." I say, half thinking aloud and half meaning what I say. "But one things for sure. They can't just start a rebellion. First, they need a reason. Something that shows they might have a chance at winning."

She grins. "Like the Mockingjay?"

I smile and laugh. "Yeah, like the Mockingjay."

"I guess you're right." Electra sighs, suddenly losing the grin. "We'll just have to wait and see."

~~~

Wait and see we do. For another month. Once Elle is out of hospital, we visit the CD almost every night - excluding Sundays, that was when we actually got to sleep - and not much at all happened. I find that despite the military vibe you get when you first enter the defiance, once you're past training it's pretty slack. We get told off for backing out of the experiment, but the buzz dies down once we get news back that it did not succeed and most of the people in it were killed, or if not, made into blacks.

This news puts a dampen on the mood for a small while, but it passes fairly quickly. Elle and I don't do anything but read, watch movies and play video games. The north wing has a pretty good collection of all three. When we aren't in the REC room, we are in the cafeteria. Either eating or having small shots of 'coffee' (you learn to get past the taste, if you don't you are tired the day after and look suspicious).