If I Die Trying ~ Yoonmin

Fifteenth chapter ~

kiss/kɪs/verb1.touch or caress with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, or greeting."he kissed him on the lips"

Jimin had imagined how his body would react if Yoongi kissed him. And it was exactly what he had expected but better. Their lips moved along like it was meant to be all along. Someone should've screamed at them, why did this take so long to come true? 

The moment Yoongi pressed his lips on the younger one's, he knew. How much he has always cared for Jimin. Something inside him has always stopped himself from taking a step to think what's possible - to love Jimin more than just a friend. 

There is not more pure moment in the world than a first kiss between people who have always loved each others, but been too scared to admit. Skinny love is what they call it. 

Skinny love; 

  a type of relationship between two people that are very in love with each other, or are big time on the other; but are far to embarrassed to express their feelings. The relationship is 'skinny' because they have yet to come out and explain their true feelings. There is no communication, not even really a 'relationship'. 

Even if Jimin is still fucked up. 

Even if Yoongi is still confused.

They could work it out. They will. Because they both know it's what they need the most.

Jimin pulls out from the kiss, his heart beating fast but feeling calm at the same time. He looks at Yoongi's eyes with eyes sparkling, still world disappeared around him. "Yoongi.." a whisper comes out but a growing smile stops him from saying any more.

"Jimin, I.. I can't explain anything right now. Just, this moment is all I know and I'm sure of," Yoongi says and runs his thumb through his cheek, looking at both eyes back and forth. Neither one can stop smiling. 

---

Two weeks have been messy. If Jimin ever knew the best and the worst days of his life would happen at the same time, maybe he would have prepared himself better. 

He has seen nightmares every night, his mental state is very much fucked up. Yoongi has just sat there holding Jimin's arm, when his memories bring up physical pain and he's asking someone to stop it all. The medication had to be added yesterday, Jimin nearly jumped out of window for the pain he felt. 

"I want to live but I don't want to feel this much pain!" he has screamed before he was put under sedatives. Yoongi couldn't do anything and his heart breaks to peaces whenever he sees Jimin in the state. 

Yoongi woke up at 6 am today, showered and went to see Jimin right away. He didn't really sleep all night, knowing his latest memory flashback must've been a big one. 

Jimin couldn't even open his eyes from the dose he got. Which is good, he doesn't want to think for a while. He just misses Yoongi. 

The older one walks in after greeting the nurses, who told him Jimin may be sleepy today. "Jimin," he says as he takes off his jacket. "It's raining outside, winter is coming, it's freezing cold," he tells him and presses a gentle kiss on his forehead to see a smile. A very weak mumble comes out along the smile, informing Jimin is awake.

Yoongi climbs next to Jimin and snuggles closer, smelling Jimin's neck. Jimin wants to open his eyes and see him, but he's too tired. 

"Yoongi," he says weakly. "Shh, lets just take a nap," he answers and pets Jimin's hair, closing his own eyes too. It's enough for now. They can deal with talking later.

---

Jimin sits on his bed. It's the last day at the hospital. He's gonna start a group therapy next week. He knows pieces of his childhood but they're all over the place. His therapist told she has some information of his birth parents. He doesn't know what to expect. He just walks to the room and sits down after greeting her.

"So we found out something that will help you recover. Unfortunately your time at the ward has ended, which I'm worried of. Since this information may cause serious flashbacks, I wish you wouldn't be alone at least. So that if it goes too bad, they can get you back here. Is there anywhere you can stay?" she asks after talking too much, nearly making Jimin fall asleep. He nods. 

"At my home, I have my friend Jungkook, we are roommates," he adds and smiles, tiny bit excited for getting back home. To sleep on his own bed, isn't that the best thing ever?

"Okay, good. And your friend is waiting outside?"

"Yeah he should be on his way."

Jimin yawns, even when he has slept surprisingly well last night. 

"So, we dag in your family history after you gave the permission at the last appointment. We found out some serious things that explain a lot of your symptoms. First of all, your birth parents died 12 years ago," she starts. Jimin nods, not knowing why he doesn't feel bad for that. It's like he never knew his parents. 

"So.. you used to have a brother too, do you remember that?" she asks carefully. 

Jimin freezes to stare at her. Gold waves go through his body. A gulp. "A-a-brother?" he asks. How can't he remember? He wants to hit his head and remember again. She nods.

"Your older brother, Park Jihyuk, died at the age of 12," she tells him. Jimin doesn't have words, because all he can think of is to wonder whether the face he has seen on his flashbacks belongs to his brother. A brother he didn't even remember existed. He feels terrible to know he has lived all along without ever going on his grave or missing him overall.

"H-how did he die?" he asks then.

"This part of information tells the reason you've developed your illness. Your brother and parents died when you were ten, remember, when you 'ran' away. Well, we found out your aunt adopted you and raised you as her own, because your own father murdered the rest of your family. There were also several cases of domestic violence made against him before it happened," she tells after sitting next to Jimin.

Immediately a ringing noise fills his ears and sight goes white.

"Jimiiin, where are you my sweetie?"

Mom. Beautiful eyes, gentle smile. I run at her and laugh. I'm happy.

"Where's Jihyuk? Wasn't he with you?" mom asks. I nod. "There." I point at man's direction.

Dad. 

His eyes are angry. "Jihyuk needs to learn a lesson," dad says. He throws Jihyuk at the wall. My eyes get teary. "Hyung!" I scream. 

"Hide," mom tells me. I nod and run. Mom screams. Dad screams back. Stop. Stop. Stop.!

A/N: There you go :) Hope you've enjoyed so far. Pieces are being clued together.