ᴡʜᴏsᴇ ɪᴅᴇᴀ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜɪs? || ʙᴛs ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғɪᴄ ✔️

109

Chocochip_kookie:
but he ended up eating most of the kfc

Taetae:
it was the thought that counted

Chocochip_kookie:
tru
but do u get what we're saying namjoon

happily_jins:
yeah...
yeah i get that ive been the absolute worst boyfriend to him

Chocochip_kookie:
just recently
dont be too harsh on urself

happily_jins:
still...
ugh.
.
.
.
thank u guys...
i mean, i knew i had done smth wrong but ur story of relating to how jin feels makes me feel worse
which is good

Chocochip_kookie:
right
and of course, not that id believe u would ever do this cuz i know ur better than that namjoon
but
u know
just make sure u dont say anything that would imply jin is being dramatic about the situation
ppl cant be blamed for the way that they feel
cuz when it all boils down to it
dont we all just want to feel important to someone

happily_jins:
right...right of course
thx again guys

***

Seokjin thought.

For a while, in fact. With his cup of chamomile tea in hand, he sat awake on his bed, the room dim as the only light on was from the small lamp at his bedside, and he thought. About how upset he was. And about why he was upset. And though he was indeed thankful for Yoongi's encouragement and words of wisdom, he couldn't shake the guilt in his heart.

Perhaps his feelings were justified. But if his feelings being justified made his heart hurt like this, then maybe he didn't want that.

In reality, he knew them better - both Namjoon and Hoseok. He knew what wonderful people they were, and what golden hearts they possessed, and when it all came down to it, there really was no mistaking that they both only had his best interest in mind. Even if they didn't show it sometimes, or failed to show it vividly enough so that Seokjin didn't misunderstand or allow his sensitive side to overpower what inside, he knew quite well.

But at the same time, he wanted to believe he could wholly accept what Yoongi had told him. That he wasn't wrong with how he was reacting to all this. That he wasn't being dramatic. That he was perfectly allowed to be upset.

But maybe this was too much. Maybe ignoring Namjoon wasn't right. Maybe saying what he had said to Hoseok wasn't right, either, especially considering Hoseok had only wanted to help, despite failing in doing so. Seokjin hadn't thought at the time that perhaps it was an honest mistake on his friend's part. But then again, the mistake came about because - or it seemed because - Hoseok had taken Yugyeom's side without at all thinking that Jin, himself, might be upset about the situation regardless.

That didn't sound right at all. Deep down, Jin knew that. Deep down, he trusted Hoseok more than that. And...he trusted Namjoon more than that, too.

Seokjin took a long sip of his chamomile tea.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he whispered to himself, "but I actually hope Yoongi told Namjoon I'm here."

Fortunately for Jin, Yoongi didn't have to tell Namjoon anything. Because the moment after he was finished talking to Taehyung and Jungkook, Namjoon had made it in his mind that he would wait by the door to Jin's dorm until Jin should return - or, in this case, till Jin should open the door to him. Except, since Namjoon still thought Seokjin wasn't home, he didn't bother knocking at the door, but rather waited for a little while before deciding to text Yoongi. And Yoongi, with great reluctance and irritation, then texted Jin.

Yoongi:
the walnut's at ur door
pls open he probably did smth stupid like purposely not wear a jacket so you'll be worried and invite him inside where it's warm and you'll be forced to listen to him

As it turned out, Yoongi was a bit too smart for his own good. Or he simply knew how Namjoon's logic worked a little too well. Whatever be the case, Jin hurried over to the front door to find Namjoon wearing a sweatpants, a light, short-sleeved shirt and absolutely nothing covering his arms. And Jin froze at the sight, and he fought with himself, but the longer he stared at those bare arms and felt the cold breeze of late winter, he gave in and invited Namjoon inside.

From there, Namjoon took what chance he was given, and he spoke.

"I didn't think about it until now, the possibility that the so-called 'harmless' little actions of mine could evoke a lot of unpleasant emotions." He drew a shallow breath, head facing down. "After all you told me about the crap you were put through with your last boyfriend, you'd think I'd be more mindful. But I wasn't. And I'm sorry, Jin. I'm so sorry..."

A few seconds passed in silence.

"I told myself I wasn't going to be like him..." Jin heard him say, a bit softer than his previous words. "...I told myself I'd always treasure you, and do the things that make you happy, so that you'd never have to feel the way you felt when you were with him. I'm sorry I couldn't do that for you this time, Jin. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize little things can cause a lot of damage in the mind. Being Yoongi's best friend, you'd think that fact would be ingrained in my head. And it is, but somehow I allowed dirt to get shoveled on top of it. And...and I'm sorry...I didn't bring...flowers...all the shops were closed..."

"I'm sorry, too."

Namjoon finally lifted his head to look at Jin. Visibly troubled, he opened his mouth again: "You have no reason to be s-"

"I am, though," Jin interrupted. In most instances this is where he would begin shamefully shuffling his feet while staring at the floor, but for some reason Jin could only bring himself to gaze into Namjoon's eyes, Namjoon's kind, charming eyes...

Truly, Jin could sense no bad intentions there. He never could, but especially not now. And that mattered so, so much to him.

Without another word Seokjin took a step forward and was about to capture Namjoon in a hug, but he was stopped when a pair of somewhat cold hands cupped his cheeks and a pair of slightly warmer lips kissed his own. Jin didn't want him to pull away. So he wrapped his arms around Namjoon in the middle of the kiss and pulled him closer than he already was and thus extending the time their lips were pressed together. Because although they didn't kiss as often as some couples, that didn't change the fact that Seokjin thoroughly enjoyed every one. Perhaps even more than that, he enjoyed the sight of Namjoon turning into a blushing mess right before his eyes, and the stammered 'I love you's' he would try to get out as way of covering up his shyness. It never worked. But Jin was okay with that.

"I, uh..." The redness of Namjoon's cheeks was noticeable as always. He stifled a nervous laugh. "I feel like...I don't deserve that..."

"No, you do," Jin argued, a smile having taken form on his face. "You came here, you said what I wanted to hear, so we're back where we were. Which is a good spot."

"Are you sure? There's not anything I missed?"

"No, but there's something I missed. I have to call Hobi and apologize. But after that, you'll stay here for the night, won't you?"

"...again, I feel like I don't deserve-"

"Shut up, we're cuddling whether you like it or not."

"...'kay."