It All Started With a Diary

fighting it|part 2

It was all hitting me so hard. He had given a part of his true side to me, because he thought I'd recognize my own strength. But in that, I witnessed his. His journey, his scars, his fight. Him. I felt grateful at the fact that he had even thought about sharing the aspects of his past with me. It meant that he trusted me just as much as I did him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked slowly, fingers swiping at the tears.

I shrugged, attempting to rearrange my distraught figure. Pain for him set in my head, and my tears immediately broke past the dam.

How could someone do that to their child?

"Stop, sweetheart," he mumbled, wiping a tear away with his thumb. "Stop." He grew into a scowl as he attempted to catch each one.

I laughed softly through my tears. My hands ached to touch him, but I knew that I needed to get something off of my chest first.

Slowly, I told him about my mother's recent call. I couldn't make out the slight shift of emotions that continued to shuffle across his face.

I shut my mouth after I had gotten a little too deep into my secrets, landing right onto the night I had relapsed. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this." He had my diary for months, he knew it all. "You know most of it."

"I don't."

What? My eyes snapped up to his.

His hands released me as he sighed. "I didn't...I didn't read your diary. Not the entire thing, anyway."

My mouth fell agape at him. He didn't read the entire diary, which meant...

"Why not?" was the first thing I could get out.

He more than had the opportunity. But now that I thought of it, from what he said, he never got past the first couple of pages.

Kade shrugged his shoulders, his shoulders slumping with a sigh. "I couldn't. I..." he paused to breathe. "I made it to the twelfth page, if even that. I skimmed a couple pages, but that's it. Once I started to know you...the real you, I didn't want to finish it. I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself, so I just stopped reading."

"Plus," he added with a chuckle. "Every time I did, I wanted to fly to Illinois and kick your families ass."

I didn't know what to feel from his confession. I hadn't ever thought that he wouldn't read it. I wasn't sure if I was more happy or sad of that. If he would have read it, I wouldn't have to tell him myself of all of the things that occurred in that house. But since he hasn't read it, he had his own version of me. The new me, not the one in that journal.

"Say something," he said, voice careful. His eyes danced across my face for any detectable emotion. "Please say something."

I didn't. Instead, I latched my arms around his exposed waist. As I brought him closer to my body, I felt the warmth of his own cocoon me in comfort.

"What are you—"

My lips fell onto his, causing him to slightly stumble before he fell into step. Swiftly, he pressed into me until we were on top of the mattress.

***

"Fuck," Kade hissed for the fifth time tonight as his phone continued to ring. 

I looked at him again. My frustration with the constant interruption was beginning to match his the more the phone rang.

He motioned for me to hold on, before standing and walking to his bathroom to answer. I didn't quite know why he didn't want me to hear the conversation, but I wanted to beat the curiosity.