It All Started With a Diary

fighting it|part 1

As his lips continued to graze against mine, I felt every single thing fly out the window. The only thing I felt in the moment, were his lips. I ran a hand through his hair, breathing in the deep timbre of Kade's moan.

By the time we pulled away, we were both breathless. My chest fell against his. Our breaths nearly resembled pants.

"This real?" he whispered, his breath fanning against my lips.

I nodded, gulping down my desire. "I-I think so."

My hands grazed against the hard outline of his jaw, causing him to lean against my touch.

"Holy shit," he muttered against my lips, his finger tracing the outline. "We just kissed."

"We did," I mumbled in response. "Just don't think."

His expression grew slack as he turned his head down, clenching a jaw. Without another thought, I placed a hand to his chin, turning it back to me.

"Let me see you," I said softly.

I frowned as he chuckled. "You might as well just stand in the dark if you want to see the real me, sweetheart."

I willed myself to breathe as his hardened brown eyes followed mine. "I don't believe that." And, I truly didn't.

My own body was running off of adrenaline, but I was curious. "What do you feel?" I asked.

The lust was now gone out of his eyes, and instead replaced with conflict. "Right now, I-I feel like I'm in bliss, as pussy as it sounds. But, when I leave here, it's gone, and I'm surrounded by the dark all over again."

My heart squeezed tightly in my chest at his truth. Was that truly how he felt, that he was in the dark?

He cursed under his breath, lowering his head again. "I have no idea why we're talking about this."

I shook my head. "Because it's true," I reassured.

His brown eyes stared directly into mine. It was then that I realized, my hand had never left his face. I removed it, just in case it was making him uncomfortable.

From the moonlight, I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "I...was this a mistake to you?" he questioned quietly.

I shook my head; it felt like anything but that. "No, it wasn't."

He nodded slowly, his eyes watching me over before he mumbled, "It wasn't to me either. I just..." he paused to release a shaky breath. "Fuck me, that was the best kiss I've ever had."

He shut his eyes, throwing his head back against the car seat. I grasped his hand in mine, slightly squeezing.

"When I saw Angelo's hand on you and what he said, I fucking snapped. But, you calmed me down..." he whispered. "I'm so tired of fighting this, of fighting us...." he trailed off, voice only audible to me.

"No one's ever been able to calm me down like that before," he said, voice raspy. "And, I fucking hate it."

"But, I can't get enough of it," he said, before placing his hand against the back of my head. "I can't get enough of you, Kimberly. I don't want to."