It All Started With a Diary

fighting it|part 1

"I can do whatever the hell I want to," he retorted.

I huffed, leaning into my seat. "Stop using everything with violence and anger," I responded. "You'll get nowhere with it."

Kade shoved a hand through his hair as he chuckled. "It's hard when your first goddamned memory was violence." He froze after he realized what he said.

He blew out a breath. "People like you, they don't care about anyone but themselves. So just stop pretending, just stop." His voice fell into a whisper at the end before he hinged his jaw shut.

I stared at him, my eyes never leaving his face. "Kade."

He ran a hand over his face, before he stopped himself with a curse. I sighed, knowing that this would be far more difficult than I thought. He was difficult.

I undid my seatbelt. "Kade," I whispered, shifting closer to him.

His head shook, refusing to look me in the eye. "Get out of my car, Kimberly." His words were full of different types of warnings, ones that I never took. "I can't do this, okay? I can't." His hand stopped at his forehead, rubbing into a circular motion until the skin grew red as he sighed. "You need to leave before I do something I can't take back, Kimberly."

I grabbed at his hand, pulling it away from his face. "Just stop." He heard my pleas, and slowly glanced at me, glare never dying. For some reason, I didn't drop his hand.

At his dark stare, I didn't fail to catch his anger. It seemed the only emotion his body seemed to express was the pit of his rage.

Kade's lips twisted into a scowl as he glared at our hands. "What the fuck do you want? For me to make a fucking fool of myself again? Or what, do you want me to get on my knees and beg you to love me and my fucked—"

I remembered Jaxs' words. How he told me to live in the moment, to do what I wanted, and have no regrets. In this moment, I wanted to do just that.

Fuck it.

I lurched toward him, pulling his face toward mine. Without the depth of our demons, my lips fell on his.

It was quick, more of a peck than anything. I'd never kissed anyone, nor had I ever jumped at the chance.

I pulled away, the reality sitting in. "I-I'm sorry—

He swallowed my gasp of surprise. With his hand at the back of my neck, he pulled me back. His lips were soft, like cocoa butter, mine corresponding against his.

The kiss was like fire, igniting the dark pit inside of me. I knew that this was wrong, but I didn't care. I only allowed myself to enjoy this for right now, to forget about the wreckage.

His mouth tasted like mint, yet those lips of his were the closest thing to sugar I had ever tasted. His hands rubbed my back, squeezing as he reached the middle of it. I moved closer to him, and he presumed this as a invitation. One hand latched onto my face, delivering waves of warmth over my cold body. I moaned as my tongue slipped past his lips, causing a growl so deep from him, it bounced all the way to my toes.

Using my lust as a brain, I slipped across the seat and onto his lap. His hands slipped under my thighs, pulling me closer as our kiss continued. His arms wrapped around me carefully, as if he could break me. I felt safe in his embrace, like I was protected from the dangers of the world as soon as I found a way into his arms.