Carmen Karma[Adopted by MCR]

Chapter 18-Oceans

I woke up to someone mumbling in the small space between our bunks. "Shh, she's gonna be okay Gee. Just take deep breaths" I poked my head out of my bunk to see a small light coming from Gerard's bunk. I got out of bed and went to his bunk knocking on the weird plasticy walls. Gerard and Frank look at me. Gerard has obviously been crying and Frank tiredly trying to calm him down. "Hey Carmen, you okay? Did I wake you up?" Gerard asks smiling weakly. I get into the bed and hug him. "It's okay, don't cry." I whisper very very quietly in his ear. He nods hugging me tighter. "Can Frank get in the bed?" I look at Frank who is falling asleep leaning on the bed. I know him, I can trust him, right? I nod slightly unsure. Gerard taps Franks' arm and basically pulls him into the bed. I take a deep shaky breath trying to move to the end of the bunk. "Carmen? Do you want to stay here?" I shake my head and push away from him slightly. He lets go and I quickly head back to my bunk curling up as I shut the curtain to the bunk.

I stayed like that all night until a bit of sunlight came in through the curtain. I went to the kitchen as soon as I could and grabbed a cup filling it with water. Ahh yes, a nutritious breakfast, water. I set at the table admiring everything passing by. "Hey short stack." I look at the sound to see Frank standing in the doorway. I wave smiling slightly. He looks at my cup of water, smirking slightly "I'll make breakfast." I throw my head back clearly disgusted with the thought of eating breakfast. "Sorry, kid." I go back to my bunk and grab pencils and paper, heading back to the table a soon as I got what I needed. I quickly wrote 'I'm not hungry, shortie.' I crumpled the paper up and threw it at him. It hit his head and then fell to the floor. He picked it up and uncrumpled it "Too bad, and you can't call me shortie. I'm taller than you." I rolled my eyes slightly "She can't but I can, shortie." Mikey says putting on a pot of coffee. "Gerard's up if you wanna go sit with him, Carmen." Mikey smiles handing me a mug full of coffee. "Take this to him too." I nod taking the coffee back to Gerard's bunk

"Hey, babe. You bring me something?" I nod holding out the mug full of the liquid energy. He smiles and takes it tapping the bed next to him. I sit down yawning slightly "You know you can talk to us right?" I shrug "I guess." I whisper. I swayed a little closing my eyes slightly "Rough night babe?" I shrug again now laying down. I start to cry slightly, Gerard sets his coffee outside his bunk "Hey, it's okay. It's gonna be okay." "Don't send me away." I whisper my voice cracking slightly. "I won't, I won't babydoll." He hugs him causing me to tense up slightly. "It's okay, you aren't goin anywhere." I nod not really believing him. He strokes my hair as I cry into his lap. "Carmen, you don't have to trust anyone until you feel like it." Gerard says running a hand through my hair. I only nod trying to calm down. "Do you trust me?" I nod tracing shapes onto his leg. "Why?" I stare blank-faced at the empty bunk across from us "Because you saved me." Gerard stops stroking my hair "Huh? I didn't. I don't think I did at least." I nod 'you did.' I mouth looking up at him. "Carmen, please talk. Please laugh and smile and talk to us." I shake my head starting to cry again.

"Hey, you guys want eggs?" Frank asks walking over to the bunk. I quickly get up and go to the music room. "Carmen, Carmen please come eat with us." Gerard calls. I slam the door and throw myself onto the couch. Nothing will keep me here. Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Frank, and Bob. None of them will help. So why should I help myself?

...

I go to walk back to the music room but Frankie grabbed my shoulder. "Let's go eat, I don't want your coffee to get cold." He says clearly upset. I nod heading to the table, Frank right by my side. I sit down resting my head on my hand. "Is Carmen comin?" Ray asks. Frank shakes his head "No she's pretty upset right now." I start eating my breakfast very very slowly. "Hey Gee, we can go shopping for comics today if you want. It's an off day." Mikey smiles slightly. "Nah, I'm tired. Probably getting a little sick. Thanks for the food, Frankie." I got up and went back to the music room. "Carmen?" I knock on the door. No answer. I open the door to see a sleeping Carmen curled up on the old couch. I smile at the sight "Hey babe, rough night? Yeah." I mumble imaging our conversation. I cry slightly and pick her up taking her to her bunk and setting her down. "I love you, Carmen. I love you too Gerard." I cry quietly and head to my bunk laying down.

"I love you more Dad." I hear a small voice say. I look out of my bunk to see no one there. I get up and go to Carmen's bunk. I smile seeing her looking at her art wall tiredly. "Shh, get some sleep babe. We can draw later." I stroke her hair as she slowly falls asleep. I smile softly watching her sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks. She seems so calm and ready to face the world. "Just sleep." I kiss her forehead and go back to the table. "How's bout we all go out tonight? Maybe the beach?" Mikey looks up from his comic "Really? What's with the change of heart?" I smile "Carmen. She deserves it." Ray smiles "Then we'll go later today!" He cheers.

...

Later that day we are all at the beach. "Come on Carmen! The water's nice!" Frank yells. I shake my head messing with the hem of my shirt. I don't have a swimsuit yet so Frank gave me one of his shirts. "No? Fine, then I'll take you to the water." He smirks running to me and grabbing me. I hit his back and squirm around, "Here we go kid!" He yells throwing me into the ocean. I don't try to swim up. The water rushing over me was so calming, and as I opened my eyes I could see the waves rushing over me. Gerard quickly pulls me out of the water I take a deep breath coughing. "Carmen, are you okay? Can't you swim? Why didn't you come up?" He questions frantically. I smile holding onto him "It's pretty under there." I mumble looking at the water. Gerard takes me out of the water and sets me on the sand "Careful okay? No more almost drowning." I nod as he heads back out into the water with everyone else. I smile watching the grown men act like children.

"Frank stop splashing me!" Ray whines. "What are you gonna do about it dorkatron!" Frank laughs. Mikey splashes Frank snickering to himself "Mikey to the rescue." I laugh Frank's head snaps towards me and he instantly starts running to the shore. As soon as he got there he splashes me. I pout looking at him and flip him off. "Rude doll and inappropriate." Gerard laughs "Carmen that's bad don't do flip people off." I shrug and mouth 'sorry' I smile holding my arms out. "What? Want me to hold you doll?" Frank smiles. I shake my head "Throw me." He looks surprised slightly and picks me up and taking me out to the ocean throwing me once more.

The sun shines through the beautiful blue-green ocean. I look around the cloudy yet clear water. The plants and shells made me smile brightly. I watched the waves wash over me one last time before Gerard pulls me out of the water. "You saved me." I mumbled watching the water. "I know Carmen. I know." He smiles and takes me out of the water again setting me in the same spot this time Frank wraps a towel around me. "Let's get back to the bus okay?" Gerard asks smiling. I nod holding my arms out. He picks me up as we all start heading back to the bus "Can we get a hotel? We don't have any shows for a few days." Ray smiles "Yeah! That'd be cool!" Frank smiles. Mikey shakes his head "No we should start driving to the next state tonight so we have a bit of time to relax later." Gerard nods stepping onto the bus "Yeah, Mikey has a point." I yawn "Plus its bedtime." Gerard smiles taking me back to the bunks "Hey, you gotta get changed, Carmen." I shake my head "Yes you do." He says throwing my pj's at me. I sigh getting up and changing. I quickly run to Gerard bunk after changing quickly falling asleep. "Night babe." I hear Gerard say before turning the lights out in the bunk area and leaving to go talk with the rest of the guys in the kitchen area.