Flicker of Hope // NH + HS

40 - Mistake

Landing at Heathrow was a bittersweet experience. I was glad to be back in London, I've missed so much time at work, and I am sure I have a mountain of things to catch up on. On the other hand, I wish I could have stayed in Greece forever and ignored my problems. Over the last few months, Harry has become one of my closest friends, while Niall has done nothing but cause me so much emotional distress. I have no idea what to do, the rational part of me wants to kick both of them out of my life and go back to being a single spinster, but the emotional part of my brain says to pick one, get married and live happily ever after.

What a joke.

I left Mikaela at the airport, Josh was on his way to pick her up, and I didn't want to be in the middle of some romantic airport scene, so I got in a cab and left. I hadn't messaged Niall or Harry back since their messages to me last week, and only Harry has sent some follow-up messages asking where I am and why I'm not replying. Niall doesn't seem to give two shits about me, which makes me think he only wants to meet up to break everything off for good.

I decide I've made them wait long enough and it's time to put them out of their misery.

Me: Hey H, I can do Saturday lunchtime?

Me: Hi Niall, I can do Sunday?

Harry is the first to reply.

Harry: Where have you been? I've missed you. I'll be over yours at 12 pm on Saturday. What's your address.

I fire off a quick reply which includes my address and leaves the conversation with Harry there. I'd rather talk about everything in person.

Niall doesn't reply until after dinnertime that night.

Niall. Yep. I'll come over sometime Sunday.

His message is curt, leading me to believe that my earlier hypothesis about ending everything is true. I wish Niall had gotten this over with weeks ago so he could have continued fucking his little plaything without having the guilt of me on his mind, or now having to come back to London to say he doesn't want to try again.

The worst thing about that is it doesn't even make me upset.

I don't want to try again with him. Too much has happened, and I've been too hurt to even think about letting Niall back into my life. I introduced him to my family, told him everything about my ex and clued him in on y deepest, darkest secrets and fears. All for what? For him to be fucking another celebrity on the side.

The other problem. Harry.

I like him, and really, I'd say that anyone who has spent more than five minutes with the bloke not to fall in love with him. He's kind, generous, warm, happy, confident and downright sexy. He is everything you could want in a partner and in hindsight, I wish Harry had been the one who was interested in me, not Niall. It would have been so much easier, and I probably could have avoided the potential heartbreak.

Thinking back, Harry has really been the one the person, apart from Mikaela, that I have been able to rely on. He always messaged or called to check up on me. He flew me to Italy when shit hit the fan, and he's been nothing but gracious the entire time. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.

***

I wake up Saturday morning and immediately feel nauseous. Why did I agree to this? What am I going to say and most importantly, what does Harry want?

I jump in the shower just after 11, trying my best not to get my hair wet, so it looks half decent. Once I'm finished, I ponder what to wear. It can't be something really casual that I wear around the house usually, but it also can't be something too dressy, I am just at home after all.