Our hearts are a black hole

7 days

Phil and I are at the park,he sits on the table,I sit on the bench. My head laying on his knee,he plays with my hair,I don't mind,I feel like the closer we get to the day we die,the closer we get to each other,which scares me,what if I get to attached to Phil? 

"Phil."

he hums in response.

"I'm scared."

"me too."

"what are you scared of?" I ask him,laying my hands at his side.

"i'm scared that..that i'm going to back out last minute,or..you will back out last minute.which will make me back out."

I think. I rub his back.

He still plays with my hair. 

"What are you scared of?"

"i'm scared we will get to attached.." 

He lifts my chin up.

"Listen Dan,we will get attached,but it's okay,just for now,but we can't let it do anything to us."

I nod.

He still holds my chin in place,then moments later,before I know it,he smashes his lips into mine.

we pull apart. I blush,I hold his hand and lay back down on his knee. I can't help but smile.

I don't want to get to attached,I know if I do,I might change my mind,about it all.

"Dan."

"Yeah?"

"You never told me why you wanted to die.."

I don't respond.

"It's only fair Dan,please." 

I take a deep breath.

god,no,phil,are you really making me do this? your gonna hate me,oh my god,here I go..

"Last year,my mum owned the local town store,all you could really buy is a candy bar and the daily newspaper. Well one day,you know uhm.. well Tyler,he came into my mums store,and she was so certain that he was stealing,and she yelled at him,he started destroying everything,so..she snapped,and hit him,with a baseball bat,and didn't stop.." 

I started to cry.

Phil didn't say anything,he just rubbed my back.

"you probably think I am crazy."

"Dan," he said lifting my chin. "you didn't kill him,which doesn't make you crazy,you didn't do anything wrong,and I knew the whole time,I just wanted to see if you trusted me enough to tell me." 

I wipe the tears from my eyes. 

I hugged Phil.

"Thank you." 

Phil hugs me back. 

We hold each other,for what seems like not long enough.

"God,I really want to die right now."

"no."

"why not? you would be better to die without me anyways." I say sniffiling.

"You can't die,not without me."

He squeezes my hand,I squeeze his back. 

We go home.