13 days

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A couple weeks later me and Phil  sit on the park bench,we are silent,we don't say anything for a while. 

I jump up.

"I think I should see my dad one last time before I die." 

I don't know why I would want to see my mum one last time before I decide to finally end myself. But maybe if I tell him that he is the reason I am planning on jumping off the side of a cliff on April 7th,I should tell her. Make her live with the guilt,or maybe it is because I miss her and I want to see her one last time and take it all in,before I jump.

"why would you want to do that?" Phil asks me sitting up.

"i don't know,I just feel like I should see her one last time." 

"after she ruined your life?"

"are you trying to look for an excuse to stay alive?" Phil asks me getting up.

"NO! why would you think that?" 

"Because you don't even know where you dad is,it could take like years before we actually find him,and all we have left is a couple days."

I look down,I can't believe he thought I was going to flake on him.

"God Phil,I am not going to flake on you,I will find out where he is and,we will go there,as soon as I find out."

"and how exactly are you going to do that?" He asks sitting back down raising one eyebrow.

"My dad has boxes of papers in his room,I am sure he has something about her in the boxes." 

Phil doesn't respond,he just stares at the ground with wide eyes,he has his hands folded.

Later that night,I drop Phil off at home and drive home.


Writers Note: Sorry if this fan fic seems like it is taking forever,I promise it gets better,stick with me. ly xx.


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