Four and Six

Chapter 15

"Hey, Tris." Christina sits down across from me at lunch. "Where's Four?"

"Oh, he's home with Maeve." I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. "I needed a break."

"What's the matter?" she looks nervous for some reason.

"It's just... having a baby is harder then I thought. It's only been a few weeks, I know. But Four is really timid around her and I've had to do everything. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death but it's just..."

"Hard." Chris looks down at her hamburger.

"Yeah. Four is just scared he's going to hurt her, you know?"

"Oh, well... there's something I want to tell you."

"Mhmm."

"Will and I, um, we're having a baby."

I grin at her. "That's great! Look having a baby is great and I love it. I'm just... you'll be great parents."

She smiles at me. "I hope! I'm super excited!" the twinkle in her eye has returned and she squeals with excitement.

"I should probably get back to our apartment." I stand up. "Congrats, see you later."

I head back to the apartment.

<><><>

"Hi." Tobias looks at me, a crying Maeve in his arms.

"Hey. What's the matter?"

He laughs a little. "I have no idea how to change a goddamn diaper." I've been changing them for the past few days, so of course he doesn't.

I giggle at him as I swoop Maeve out of his arms. "Maybe you should learn. C'mon."

He follows me into the nursery, and I teach him how to exchange diapers.

I lay Maeve on the bed with her favorite toy, a little stuffed giraffe. Tobias lays down on the other side of her, and I lay down too.

We watch her for a little while.

"Tobias?" I talk quietly.

He looks at me.

"I just, you seem really timid around Maeve. Is, do you, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," he says quickly, and averts his eyes.

"You're lying." I stare at him. "I can tell. Tobias, you can tell me anything."

"I know. I'm okay."

Maeve starts to cry. "This conversation isn't over." I scoop her up and go into the nursery. I've been breastfeeding, and it feels really awkward around Tobias. I'm still really self-conscious around people, even though I've filled out.

I feed her, burp her, and put her down for a nap. I go back to the bedroom and see Tobias laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I lay down next to him and put my head on his chest.

"What's bothering you?" I whisper.

He takes a deep breath and my head rises and falls. "I'm worried about her."

"Who? Maeve?"

"Yeah. I'm scared I'm going to hurt her. I've never had another life I've had to worry about, you know?"

I sit up and look at him.

"I told you this already. You're not going to hurt her. You're a really caring husband, and I know you'll be a great dad if you just relax." I take his hand. "This is all new for me, too."

"It's not, though." He raises his voice. "You had a family that you loved and they cared about you. You know what it's like to have someone to take care of. Before you, I only had to worry about myself. Maeve is the only person that I love that can't take care of herself!"

"Calm down." I move so my face is next to his. "I get it. It's going to be fine. I just need your help. I can't take care of Maeve by myself. I need you."

"Okay."

I kiss his cheek and put my head on his shoulder. "I love you."

He kisses my head. "I love you, too."