Imagine Knowing Him (Ryden)

Chapter 27

Spin smiles. "Perfect. But before I'm gonna say anything further, I have to ask you this: Are there any other secrets, you want to tell me regarding Ryan?" I shake my head profoundly. "No, none at all, everything is out in the open now."

"That's what I thought. Good, then I can give you this now. It might help you with your mission to get him back." He hands me a small folded paper, I open it carefully, until it reveals words. I read over it, becoming totally entranced by them.

"Is that..." I start slowly. "Yes," Spencer says. "It is a song. A song written by the one and only Ryan Ross, for his one and only. You." I'm speechless. Never in my life have I read more wonderful words. This song is the personification of our love story, that is how it began. "But.." I start again, but Spin interrupts this time as well. "He planned on putting it on the new album, but shortly before he could show me, he found out about you. So, he decided to not release it, obviously. Brendon, he never in his whole life wrote a love song, for no one. Have you ever realized how special you were to him? And even if he is pretending to get over you right now, I know those feelings won't just go away that easily. But time takes the pain away, so you better hurry and not think too long. You just gotta go for it, please. We all want our old Ryan back."

My mouth is dry, I am still speechless, no clue what to say to this, because this whole situation is just so incredibly overwhelming. I force myself out of my trance to answer Spencer.

"Okay, Spence. Thank you for this and for everything, I know what I have to do now." And I'm not lying, finally I got my big gesture with which I can hopefully win my Ryro back and never ever lose him again.

Ryan's POV:

"Finally, Spence, I'm so starving." I say as I open the door for Spencer, who was just getting food for us.

"Gladly, I brought some sandwiches." Jon smiles widely in my face. Not in a million years I expected Jon to show up at my door, he is usually not one to interfere on someone else's business.

"Jon, what are you doing here?" I ask unsure of the reason behind this action. I mean don't get me wrong, Jon is still my friend and I don't feel any anger towards him. As far as I heard from Spence, Jon wasn't in on it, not really at least. But of course, he is still Brendon's best friend, so there somehow can just be one reason for him to be here.

"Bringing you the food you wanted." He grins excessively, odd. Hold on... "Is Spencer in on this?" I accuse him. "Huh? No, I don't know where he is. I just came by to talk a bit and I know this is your favourite sandwich from the restaurant, so..." he looks expectantly. I doubt he is telling the truth. "Don't you want to invite me in?" he finally asks. Right, we're still at the front door.

I hesitate. Do I not know what's coming at me if I let him in? I'm just gonna tell him that I don't wanna talk about it, I mean I can't leave him hanging just because of Brendon. Like I said I grew close to him, he is still my friend.

"Fine, come in Jonny boy." I say monotonously, just to already let him know I don't wanna talk about him. "Thanks, Ryro." Jon says as he passes me to go straight into the kitchen to put the food on the counter.

I close the door and follow behind him. First of all, I have to inspect if he wasn't lying and really bringing me my favourite sandwich. As I open the bag, I can already smell the turkey curry. Nice, he did remember.

Jon's leaning against the counter, smirking at me. "Ry, did you really think I wouldn't remember your favourite food after the restaurant basically became your and Spence's second home?" he laughs at me. Just because it's Jon who is laughing, I have to grin too. Jon's laugh has always been contagious.

Absent-mindedly, I grab for the cigarette pack in my sweat pants pocket, I haven't had one in thirty minutes.

When Jon sees this his laughter dies down and he looks kind of weirded out. Right, he hasn't seen me smoke yet, but Spin probably told him about this terrible habit I developed. "When did you start?" he asks me sort of disappointed.

"Couple of weeks ago." I say quietly, embarrassed, although I know quite well Jon's no saint either, when it comes to smoking. "Mhm.." he just makes this weird noise, but looks like he knows exactly why I began.

"Sooo..." he continues, I know what comes next, so I interrupt him before he can say any more. "Jon, stop. Please. I know what you want to do. And I don't wanna hear it. You are still my friend and just because you're his too, doesn't mean for me to just quit being your friend, okay? But the thing with me and him is over... forever. I don't want to know anything about him anymore, okay? I just try to process things right now." Jon sighs audibly. I feel pity for him, he is in the same place as Spencer, they both don't deserve to sit in between the chairs. But it was predictable that one of us would split up at one point and then something like this had to happen.

"Ryan, look, first of all I'm not here to tell you what good of a guy Brendon is. In the first place I'm here to ask you how you are. Obviously, you're not stupid, so you know Spence told me a lot, but I wanna hear it from you as well. As you said I'm still one of your best friends! So, I'm concerned about your well-being after this as much as I am about Brendon's." Jon tells me, voice full of sincerity. I believe that this was his prior intention in coming here, but probably not his only.

I obey though and tell him how I feel. "Okay, Jon. But like you said, you probably know most of it already. I have not been good. I never felt so betrayed in my whole life. You know, how much Bren meant to me" The more I say, the more I feel my eyes fill with tears. I promised myself to not shed any tears about him anymore, but it's hard. "And I never thought he could do something that cruel to me like he did. I am at this point where I really want everything to be how it used to be a couple of weeks ago, but I can't see myself forgiving him at all, because I don't see the reason behind his actions. I just feel pure hatred for him, but still I'm filled to the brim with sadness. Without Spence I'd probably still lay in my own dirt in the bedroom and yea, guess you know the reason why I started smoking."

Jon looks stunned, a lot to take in I guess. "Wow, Ry... I never knew the whole extent of what he did to you. I feel truly sorry for everything that happened and honestly, I never thought it was good how he handled the situation, but there's a lot you just don't know about him yet."

I look at Jon, I don't know how to process this information. More secrets? I was an open book towards Brendon and he? He hid so much from me. My suspicions becoming true... Who was I together with?

"I don't think I really wanna hear that Jon. I thought I knew everything about him, you know. I mean he was my boyfriend and after the break up, I discover that he has a second life? That just makes me think our whole relationship was a lie." Jon sighs, but gives me a sympathetic look, he does understand.

Still, he is not done with trying to convince me to listen to him for he says: "Look, Ryro, I understand, fully so! It's just, Bren's still my friend and I at least need to get him a chance that you comprehend his actions. I'm sure as angry and sad as you are right now, deep down you still know that he is a good guy and he meant not to harm you in any way."

I breathe out very loudly. He is right, I still know that, but my heart mostly wins over my brain and my heart is still broken. I stay speechless for I don't know what to answer. So, Jon just continues.

"Ryan, I appeal to your rationality, please give him a chance to explain, because there IS a reason, he did what he did." I contemplate my chances to get out of this, but I barely have any. Jon can be very persistent.

"Believe me, there is more to it than you might think." He stresses. "Even if you don't want to forgive him, it might be good for you to hear him out so you can actually finalize the break up." As much as I don't like to admit it, he could be right.

"Fine, he can come by, but I won't give him much time of the day and you know we're leaving in three days for tour, so he better hurries!"

Jon's face lights up as I say this and he can't contain his smile from one ear to the other. But I feel a slight uneasiness creating in my stomach by the thought of seeing him again. 

Yeay guys, there are literally just two chapters left for me to write, I'm so hyped for what you will think about my ending!! I cant wait till I'm done with everything, because I wont be one of those who don't finish their fanfic! Prepare for some good shit :) Love yaa! <3