A Thousand Words

Bullied

Bullied
September 30, 2017

I've been teased and bullied because of my mouth my entire life. They think I'm wearing a mouthpiece. I have thick lips and protruding teeth. I always get stared at because of it (besides my bosom), unwanted stares that I dread to get. The moment when they stare at me and even if they don't say anything, I'm already shedding tears inside and will cry even more when I'm all alone. I know that I'm ugly. I know that this is my defect. It's obvious. When they do it, I get so conscious and insecure wishing I had nice ones. (I don't have any problem with my mole, I like it.) I believed no one liked to have me as their girlfriend because of it or even if I had one would want to kiss me. Who would dare to kiss such lips? :(

It hurts even more when my family and friends tease me. Telling me I shouldn't laugh too much, my mouth gets bigger. It's so hideous. It hurts, even more, when they imitate my protruded teeth. They say I should be careful because it's not a good sight when I laugh. They even make fun of it and my mole. Have they ever seen me get mad or made it known I'm hurting? Never! I just laugh with them and forget whatever they said. I can't get mad at them because it's true. I already accepted that I'm like this, that I look like this. All I want is respect! They even suggested I should get surgery or whatever medical procedure to fix my teeth. I will never do it and I'm content with what I look like. I don't care if I look disgusting when I laugh. It doesn't hinder me from showing the real me, my real emotion! I kind of hate it when people stare at my mouth when I speak. Can you just look at my eyes? You don't need to remind me that I have such an unpleasant mouth. It's hard for me to pronounce some words clearly. I know they even laugh at me when they see me asleep. I barely close my mouth showing my front teeth inside. They're not buck teeth though, just protruded. I smile showing my teeth to look pleasant in pictures. I want to look pleasant just for a while. Is it too much to ask?

I gotta admit, I'm so envious of you people! You all have nice lips and good teeth. You should be thankful for that. But then, people aren't satisfied and those who have defects like me are the ones who are satisfied or trying to be contented with our physical appearances. So don't blame and criticize people who have undergone surgery and fixed their teeth by using braces (except those who use them for fun). You make them do it! But I won't do anything to fix my mouth. If you don't like it, don't talk to me or close your eyes when we talk to each other. :P Ugh, how much more when I get older? I will be more hideous and funnier to look at! I gotta get myself ready for humiliation. Will you be the one to do so?

I know I'm ugly! If you tell things against me about it behind my back, just go on. I won't get mad. I won't get affected. I'm used to it! But it's hard to take when my loved ones/friends say and think the same way! :'(  Well, life's like that. No one will ever accept me without teasing and imitating me!

PS. Don't mind me blabbing. I'm alright! I'm in love! :*

Yuchae Moon