Happy?

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Baring, contemplating, hurting that's all I felt. My hands reeked of unwanted solace, of prudent pain, and a trembling sense of lost desire to be happy.

I couldn't see past the hate, the screeching laughter from branded souls, that eek to trap my own smile. I was bounded by my own heart, that shut my existence in a poisonous wreath.

I was drowning not cause of my surroundings, but because of my mind, it bled every form of anxiety and fear throttling down my throat, gushing down in an endless stream of loneliness and sorrow.

I could have been alright, I could have been fine. I could have gone to that one place that made me happy, that let me be who I was without the gawking eyes of others... But that too was taken away from me.

Everything that could have been an escape, was now gone and I couldn't find the courage to hold on, to tell myself, it's okay. I was way past that line, all I did was cry and cry till my eyes no longer could feel the sting and went numb.

I was crashing down my walls that once stood like a rock that didn't let anything or anyone break through it, it was my shield, but I was tired and drained. I wanted to plead, I wanted to beg, I wanted to live and not die every day, piece by piece, like a fallen star.

Maybe I was alright, Maybe I was strong but the reality struck through, displaying my own set of weaknesses and I needed to piece myself back, not to be happy, but , to not let anyone know I was broken.

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