Accidentally You Of Course

Alone Again

Kongpob's POV

" you were right,  you don't deserve kindness " 

For a moment Kongpob's heart stilled when Arthit threw these words at him and left. So bitterly.. With so much..despise. It was not like he didn't believe his words,  he rather did.  He knew he was stacking up for a greater doom, that he was a guy who doesn't deserve love or kindness or any other human affection. And even if he did deserve any of them,  he'd probably not get it.

  Almost every one hated him, and why not... What has he ever done to get love? Everyone, infact he himself kept repeating the same words often. Power and money can't gain you love. And his actions.... , well to be honest he'd consider himself lucky if anyone would be even considerate to him after knowing his actions. And he... he was used to this his whole life. 

He wouldn't call himself kind, he wouldn't call himself just. Oh he was far from being a good person. But what other option did he have? What do you do when there is just one plank of wood which can keep you from drowning in the depths of the ocean and there are too many people wanting to snatch it away from you. 

His grandfather was always the only love and care he had known his entire life . He has held on to that love tightly since his childhood, it has kept him going,  atleast there was someone! After he was gone, there was just the company which was left behind as a reminiscence,  as the only memory of his grandfather and when kongpob learnt he would become the heir to it,  he took it as blessing passed on by his grandfather and he could go till any extent to hold on to it. There was havoc of conspiracies going on outside as well as inside the company,  it was presently leaderless atleast untill kongpob became of age and so if he did not maintain the gang, he would remain unarmed for the inevitable. Call him selfish if you must,  but that was all he had in his life. He was only thankful M and Wad were at his side, supporting him too.

He had trained himself to relinquish any remote desire of affection,and he thought he was in utter control of himself, even if he was like a cold rock most of the time,  heartless , emotionless,  lifeless.

And then there came Arthit.

Arthit was his personal utopia. The only bright star in his otherwise dark life, the only person who could walk him through his lonely voyage, the only ray of hope that made him want to be a better person, a better guy... Just for Arthit.

He didn't know how Arthit had become so important, in such a short span of time... But whatever Arthit said...and whatever Arthit did, mattered.  It was like the whole world was on one side and Arthit was on the other. Kongpob had promised himself never to give anyone control over his life anymore. He had lived under people whom he loved and inturn got nothing but pain. All these years he had mastered the art of staying unattached and unaffected. Even when he allowed himself to secretly accept the fact that he was in love with Arthit,  he was determined not to loose control of things. But... But those words coming out from him, strangely wounded kongpob more than he expected.

His body didn't respond to him for a moment. It was just used to letting go of people and when his head and heart was too taken aback, thats what his body did by default. Arthit was gone in a flicker of second, and he couldn't even stop him.

There was a knot forming in his heart and an unknown tremor ran through him. He was not ready to be alone again. In the past few days he has learnt P'Tum meant a lot to Arthit. Kongpob was kind of getting prepared to face the whole suiting sooner rather later.
But it happened so suddenly, he didn't get to explain himself.

Even the thought of loosing Arthit, was making him panicky. It didn't take him long to take out his cell phone and call Arthit.

It rang for sometime, before he got directed straight to voicemail. And  every time thereafter that he tried calling him, Arthit's phone was found switched off.