it was cold. jisung was cold.
winter had come, taking away the little warmness of autumn. dead leaves were everywhere, but they were different. they weren't the typical, pretty and in shades of yellow and orange ones. those ones were wet, black and brown. they made you feel sad only by looking at them. jisung stared at them from his window, feeling colder.
even though he wanted to tuck himself into his bed, he knew he had to leave his house, so he decided to get up and look for some warm clothing. he opened his closet and moved some hangers until he found a green soft hoodie. he smiled a little as he slid his arms into the sleeves, feeling a little warmer now. he took his backpack and his keys and opened the door to face the street.
that day, he'd decided that he wasn't going to put his earphones. he'd just listen to the natures sounds as he walked to where he was heading to. he closed his eyes for a moment and felt the cold breeze hitting his face and moving the hairs on his forehead. when he arrived, he sat down, crossing his legs. he dug his hand in his pocket, just to reach a perfectly folded pastel green paper. he carefully unfolded it and saw a really neat handwriting, which he was so familiar with. he started reading it, like he did the previous 2 years.
"august 31, 2016
hi, jisungie!"
—hi, minho hyung —jisung said, in a very low voice.
"how are you feeling today? i hope you're doing great. it's cold, isn't it? lucky you, you have my green hoodie!"
jisung looked at hoodie, smiling sadly.
"i just wanted to tell you that i miss you. so much. it's so boring here, you know? and studying is all i do! i almost never go out of my room for i have to study for all my exams and all my subjects. i hope you're enjoying your last years before university because trust me, it's so horrible. anyway, i'm learning a lot of things, though. i can't deny that. being an exchange student has its perks, but it also has its cons
it's only 2 days 'til i see you again! can you imagine? time does really fly, don't you think? i'm more and more anxious to see you again. i haven't seen you since the last december! sometimes i wish you were here too. my roommate is no fun, he always locks himself in his own world and won't talk to me unless he needs something to eat or to buy.
i promise one day i'll take you here, jisungie. it's very pretty, just like you. snow is falling now, and the landscape is beautiful. but it would be more beautiful if you were here with me :(.
anyway, how are you doing? are you and felix going out to the arcade without me? i hope not, i'd feel very betrayed hahaha. i hope you're sleeping well these days, and remember to eat so you don't get sick.
i have to go now, jisung. i have to keep on studying. i'll write as soon as i have the opportunity to do so. i love you, jisungie! please wait for me!
—minho ♡"
he couldn't pinpoint when, but jisung started crying. he cried as he held onto the small green paper that was now stained with tears. he could only ask himself why, why did he have to go? minho didn't deserve it. he only deserved to be happy. he deserved the entire universe.
—i love you, minho hyung. i miss you —he sobbed as he dried his tears with the palms of his hands —i miss you so much. i-i have your hoodie, see? i'm n-not feeling cold right now. your hoodie is very warm. b-b-but your hugs were warmer... —jisung started crying again. why? why did that happened to minho? why him, out of all the people in the world? why it didn't happen to me? jisung thought as more tears proceeded to fall from his eyes, soaking his cheeks.
because the truth was, jisung could never hug minho again. he could never kiss him again, or play with his hair, or tell him how much he loved him under the moonlight. he could never walk while taking minho's hand, and he could never hear minho's laugh again, because that drunk driver got on his way. that stupid drunk driver, who crashed onto him, taking his laugh, his smiles and his life. he killed minho, but killed jisung without even touching him.
jisung looked at the sky, covered in clouds. and the he looked down and saw minho's grave.
lee minho
1998 - 2016
and then jisung realized, like he did 2 years ago, that minho was dead, and that was the reason why he wasn't coming back.
