Ellie is Cool Now

Chapter 22

I always laugh at TV shows set in suburbia where the kids meet at the cutest, kitschiest diners to share a milkshake and some boring conversation usually involving prom or homecoming, spring formal, winter formal, harvest festival, or Valentine's Day dance slash the Full Moon Festival (if it's paranormal) — really, don't these kids have homework?

In real life, or at least in Stonybrook, if meth addicts don't hang out there on the regular and if food poisoning is not a distinct possibility, it's not cool.

I watch a painfully thin woman shuffle around the restaurant in dirty pajamas. She fraternizes with our waitress, who looks one bad trip away from acquiring her own set of ripped, faded pajamas. I would feel sorrier for her if she cared even ten-percent about taking our order, but we've been sitting here for at least ten minutes while she and dirty PJs laugh it up with the fry cook in the back.

David finally chases her down for ice water and some menus, just before the entry bell rings.

I practically snap my neck to look behind me at the door where Mark stands. His hair is all mussed on top of his head from running his hands through it a thousand times to calm his nerves. When dark brown eyes meet mine, a slow smile spreads wide across his face. My heart rate kicks up and my head spins until I'm dizzy.

"I'll be right back," I hear myself say as I scoot out of the booth.

"Ellie?" Roxy's voice sounds far away inside my head, like we're in a tunnel.

I ignore all the baffled gazes as I power walk to the back of the restaurant and duck into the single co-ed bathroom. It smells like rotten eggs and cheap flowery air freshener plugged into the wall. There are a variety of lengths of hairs decorating the toilet seat. I opt not to sit there and instead, use a paper towel to turn on a faucet so I can splash water on my face.

"What is your problem?" I whisper out loud to myself.

But I know what my problem is. Up until now, Mark was just a fantasy. Now he's smiling at me, for me, sitting outside of my house like fucking modern Romeo and Juliet with a happy ending. A very happy ending considering all the sexy things he's implying are gonna happen between us.

In a fantasy, everything turns out perfectly and exactly how I want it. In real life, I put my heart on the line, and I don't get to decide how it all turns out in the end. My heart could get chopped up into a million pieces by Mark's serial-heart-killer smile.

I'm just a cowriter in this love story, and that scares the shit out of me.

"Ellie?" It's Roxy's voice. Damn it, I forgot to lock the door.

She leans her hip against the door to close it, her arms crossed over her chest. Her question is a reprimand. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

"I'm sorry," I say. My voice sounds small, ashamed. Roxy softens. Her arms come uncrossed and she steps forward to look at my eyes in the mirror.

"Is this still about Liz?"

I shake my head.

Understanding dawns in her eyes, and she steps closer. Her hand clenches into a fist before she raises it, closing her arms around me from behind. She rests her chin on my shoulder. My whole body is stiff inside her embrace.

"You can't live in a fairy tale world forever, Ellie Bellie," she says, a sincere smile shifting her features into something almost sweet. Her voice is so soft it's almost a whisper. My body relaxes.

"I know," I say, my voice cracking.

She squeezes me once and lets go. "I can only take so much of the lovesick puppy dog eyes, so you need to tell him to cool it."