Forgetting Hogwarts

6. Missed acts

On the road, I look at the blonde head behind me, intermittently. He dreams while watching the landscapes. Your son. Your spitting portrait ...

For the first time in a long time, I think back to Hogwarts.

My entry into this school that I did not know. My friendship with Ron, immediate.

The first time we saw each other, you and I, your outstretched hand, which I did not take ... what would have happened if I had pressed it? Why this rejection, immediate? What guided me?

Nothing ... just an impulse, strong.

And my fear of going to Slytherin. We chose our camps very early, both of them.

Although ... did you really have a choice? Did I really have a choice?

The viper's glance that your father had thrown at me, in the bookshop ...

The 2nd year duel ... face to face, in front of everyone. The spells that were firing. The snake, which I hypnotized.

The Quidditch games, where we were flanked ... .sur of course. To hurt yourself ... continual mockery.

These shots exchanged ... your kicks in my face, on the train. The spell I had thrown at you, which had sheared you like dozens of razors. My remorse. Writs.

It's true that I was looking for you everywhere at that time ... I knew you were planning a bad move. Or was there something else already?

What was said about it last April? I do not know anymore. Oh yes ! You told me I was obsessed with you in 6th grade. I denied, of course.

In fact, I do not know anymore. What does it mean, exactly, obsessed? I prefer not to go deeper. Not now. It's true that your gray eyes, your fairness came back to me sometimes at night, when I tried to keep my hands wisely on my blanket ... often.

It's so strange that blonde head in my rearview mirror ... I have the life of your son in my hands. A scary power.

We arrive in front of the Manor and I stop the car. A house elf rushes to help me down.

Skorpius runs up the stairs and I stay in front of your house, hesitating.

Finally you appear and you reach out to me:

- Thank you Harry ... thank you for keeping Skorpius, and for bringing him back.

- Please. It was a pleasure, he is really kind and very well brought up.

You smile slightly and go up the stairs. You accompany me to the living room. You are pale. Visibly tired.

- How are they?

- Oh good. Thank you. The little one sleeps. Isadora is with Skorpius, I think. She is very tired. You want to see her ?

- Yes, I would like ... and see the baby too ...

You hesitate, I see it well. What are you afraid of ? It's true, the last we saw here, I hit you. And worse. You take me for an imbalance. How can I tell you that I am better, that you have nothing to fear?

I retreat, a little embarrassed:

- But it's late, it's better that I come home.

- No wait. Come.

You precede me on the stairs. We enter your room and Isadora is sitting in an armchair, her son on her knees. She whispers in his ear.

She smiles at me:

- It liked him a lot, it looks like. Thanks Harry ... and thanks to Ginny, who was so nice to him.

- You're welcome. He is adorable, and very well educated. He can come back when he wants ...