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i stood in front of the hospital, clasping my palms on the bags. i looked at the building and hesitating to go in.

what if i bump into him? what am i gonna do? it's been almost 3 weekz since it happened.

i sighed and just went inside the hospital. didn't care if people look at me. of course, they would. even if i didn't see my reflection on the mirror, i knew i looked horrible.

i didn't have the courage yet to open the door and see my mom havibg multiple wires inside of her.

i sat on one of the waiting chairs, the bags on top of my lap, hugging them tightly against my chest.

i won't lie but my chest keep on tightening whenever i remember what happened yesterday. it felt wrong and i felt like i need to disagree from the contract and just live a normal life.

i know some of you are thinking that i could just work, multiple jobs and 24/7 working.

i did that already.

but nothing happened and still lead us to eat soup everyday.

and so i decided not to break the contract.

i would bear anything, i would do anything for my mom. she have done enough for me when i was a kid and i knew it was my turn to give back the favor.

no matter how much i destruct myself or my dignity, i knew this is all for my mom.

even if i break down, people disrespect and mistreat me as a person, this is all for my mom.

i was about to go inside my mom's room once i had the courage but a hand stopped me. i looked up and saw his face.

i wanted to do so many things to him. i wanted to slap him for destroying my dignity, for losing my self respect. i wanted my hands around his neck and yelled at him for what he said to me the other day. i wanted to see him beg for his life until he lose his last breathe under my eyes.

but i couldn't seem to move. i felt like my world stopped and everything felt like ice.

i knew i should slap his disgusting hand away from my skin but i just stared at him.

my chest tightened and i felt my eyes getting warm. tears started to form at the corner of my eyes until it fell down my cheeks.

he quickly let go of my arms when he saw me crying.

his eyes was filled by guiltiness and i could see it easily. i knew he was so guilty and regretted what he did to me. i knew he pity me.

but i don't need that right now, i don't need his regret and pity.

now that he already left a permanent scar.

he can't do anything now and nothing would make me feel better. nothing would make me feel normal again without underestimating myself and blaming myself about what happened because that wasn't my fault.

"i'm sorry for what i said, i-i was so drunk." he said while keeping his head low.

what does he expect me to say?

'no problem sir, we had a contract anyways.'

but all i wanted to say was, 'fuck you, i'm not an animal for you to treat like this. i hope you fucking die.'

but still no words came out from my mouth. my tongue didn't seem to slip any words out.

i didn't want to say anything and wanted my hands to do it all.

i want to grope my hands around his neck and pressed it on his lungs, until he can't breathe and beg for me to stop.

but my hands seemed to stiff.

i couldn't look at him the same way anymore.

"it's okay." i said.

of course, who am i protest? my mom was under in his hospital and i wanted her to live longer.

this was all for her. i can take my dignity low just for her. i can take away my pride for her.

he was about to say something and open his mouth when,

"hubby!" we heard a high pitched voice behind us.

i looked and it was a beautiful woman. i think she's the same age at me but if you compare her looks with me, i would look ten years older.

she's his wife, that was supposed to have a divorce with him.

he put his arms around her waist and smiled at her.

"who is she?" she asked.

jimin looked at me before gulping.

"she's......i have to talk to her." he said before pulling his wife away.

i rolled my eyes when he pulled me in the corner, "i'm sorry for what i said last time—"

i pulled something out my pocket and showed it to him, his eyes widening. i felt that he stopped from breathing from shock.

"i gues we'll go on with the contract, you wanted to pay me right. then do it."

i turned my back.




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i hate that half of this chapter was deleted and i had to write it again. ugh so annoying, it became shorter.

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