"do you think she's going to freak out?" i asked Hampus as we exited the elevator. "nothing like this has ever happened before." he took my hand in his and knocked on the door himself, a small smile on his face. "what's the worst that could happen?" he asked me, eyebrows raised as he said, "she can't kick you out of your own apartment. she'd just have to leave."
we had been standing in front of the door for a moment before i figured Evelina wouldn't answer it. Hampus appeared to be as confused as i was.
"maybe she's too overwhelmed with the news to come open the door," i suggested. "or she's in the bathroom."
i opened the door and the living room and kitchen were vacant. both of our bedroom doors were closed and a faint noise was coming from her room, right across mine.
eyebrows raised, i made my way to her door, letting go of Hampus' hand and raising mine to knock on the maroon-coloured wood. my hand faltered as the noise became clear as bed springs repeatedly squeaking underneath heavy weight, as if someone was bouncing on her bed.
as if she was screwing someone right behind the door.
"i don't think—"
Hampus yanked the door open from behind me and nearly hit me with the door, his jaw clenched with anger. as i was reaching for his shirtsleeve to pull him back i realised who was inside of Evelina's room, butt-naked.
before i could react, Hampus was already throwing punches at him. how hard he punched him in the face, time and time again, made me fear that he would kill him.
yet, during all of this, my brain was still slowly processing the past events. the front door unanswered. the bed springs heard from the living room. Anders and Evelina in the bed that i bought her. naked.
without a word, i turned around and exited my apartment, getting on the elevator and going to the first level. the elevator jolted, as elevators do, before decelerating slowly. i looked at myself in the reflection of the metal walls as i zoned out, flashbacks of what had just happened going through my mind.
how could she do that when she knew i would be there in a matter of minutes? had it been out of spite?
i exited the apartment building and sat on a bench nearby, breathing in the fresh air and attempting to calm my nerves.
"Klara."
i turned around to see Hampus, his expression grim. i wondered how long it took him to realise i had left. the amount of anger inside of him, how fast he threw the punches. i didn't think anything outside of that moment mattered to him at the time.
i'm not fond of violence, but Anders deserved it. part of me wanted to get back at Evelina while the other part reminded me that two wrongs did not make a right, no matter what universe you existed in.
i looked up at Hampus as he approached the bench, tucking my hair behind my ear. his hands smelled like soap, indicating that he had to wash the blood off of them before coming to check on me. he probably expected that i wouldn't want to view such a sight.
"did you kill him?" i questioned, taking his hand in mine and glancing at his split and bruised knuckles before continuing to maintain eye contact. he shook his head slightly, his expression unchanged. "i wanted to. the smug look he gave me when i opened the door made me want to bash his face in. i would've beat him until he died if it weren't for you."
"if it weren't for me?"
Hampus nodded. "if i didn't have you, i would've done it. i wouldn't have cared about the consequences," he told me, his jaw clenched. "before you came around, i used to think about all the ways i wanted to kill him. he's fucked up so many lives with his status and it made me fucking sick. stockholm is bad enough and he just puts the icing on the fucking cake."
i looked down at my feet, wondering how long these memories would stay in my mind until i had finally forgotten them. but how could i un-see that? how could my mind just erase it forever?
sighing, i quietly asked, "are they still there? i need to shower, i feel gross."
"not sure. they were picking up their stuff when i left. do you want me to go up there and check?"
i shook my head, letting my eyes close. it was so hard to resist the urge to cry, and i used every single drop of strength that resides within my bones to keep from letting the tears fall free. Hampus sat down next to me on the bench and took my hand in his, holding it as if it were something fragile.
"we'll get through this?" he said. "okay?"
i looked up at him and couldn't help but smile; nodding my head and saying, "okay."
