10 missed calls from evelina <3
i stared at his phone and thought about having to leave him after having him for such a short period of time.
i'd be so lonely. we'd spent so much time together that we kept leaving things at each others homes. i had so many shirts and sweaters of his back at my place now that i thought about it, and it hurt me thinking about having to give them back to him.
"Klara?"
i looked up to see Hampus; towel around his waist, hair dripping wet. i failed to put on a fake smile as i finally responded, saying, "hva? what?"
"did something happen?"
i shook my head and looked down at my phone, looking through my social media to distract myself from his worried gaze. i didn't want to turn nothing into something and immediately assume the worst when there were several reasons why she could've been calling him.
my phone began vibrating and i tensed up as soon as i read the name on my screen.
Incoming Call...
evelina lily <33
i took a deep breath before accepting the call. "hålla. hello."
"hej!! hey!! where are you? i was trying to surprise you but the place is empty," she explained, opening doors inside of the apartment as we spoke. "i got back not too long ago and i brought you something."
i couldn't decide if i wanted to lie to her or not. she's my closest friend, and i didn't want to hurt her with the decisions i'd made without consulting her about them first.
"uh," i began. "i can head over there now, i'm not too far. when did you get back?"
Hampus looked at me questioningly as he pulled a sweater over his head and i mouthed her name as she rambled about her trip from her grandmother's. he frowned and took my hand, pulling me closer so he could take my phone from my hand. i gasped, reaching my hand out to grab it, but he ducked under my arm.
"hålla," he murmured, running his fingers through his hair. "Klara and i will be there, we didn't think you'd be back so soon."
and with that he hung up, putting my phone in his pocket as if it were his.
"why did you do that?" i asked, too shocked to even move. he was always so irrational and impulsive sometimes that it frustrated me to the point where i wanted to just walk away and let him think about what he'd done.
Hampus walked towards me and stopped once our feet were almost touching. i had to look up at him to meet his eye.
"what's wrong?" he asked, his tone cool and definitive. "have you not told Evelina that we're together?"
i fumbled for something to say that would indirectly answer his question, causing me to stutter. "i—well, i was—i haven't entirely—Hampus, you—"
"seriously? 'i' what, Klara? i hurt her? how could i have possibly hurt her, i'm the one who's fucking hurt. she promised me forever and i gave her everything; i was there for her. i loved her for fucks sake! and she left me because i didn't seem interested in her anymore," his voice was no different from thunder.
i was so afraid to respond that i merely stood there and let him continue to yell at me as i forced myself not to cry. i always hated when people rose their voice at me, but it was what i deserved for not being upfront with him and taking into consideration that the breakup with Evelina hurt him, too.
"i thought you were different. i thought you cared about me, i thought you understood me, but you don't. you're no different from everyone in this damned city."
Hampus looked at me for a long time, making me feel more inferior than i already felt. when he opened his mouth i flinched, expecting him to proceed his yelling. instead, he mumbled, "i didn't mean to make you cry, Klara. it just upsets me that you're brave enough to lay naked with me in bed when you're too afraid to tell your friend that you're in love with her ex-boyfriend."
he looked at me for a moment before wiping the tears off of my face. gråt inte. don't cry. jag är ledsen. i'm sorry."
i nodded, briefly clearing my throat and swallowing the knot that formed once i'd began crying.
he was right, i should have told Evelina about us as soon as we began. the problem was that every time i even thought about telling her, more anxiety than my bones could handle engulfed my body. i always hated doing things that could possibly result in an argument.
and what was i supposed to do if Eve decided that she didn't want to be friends anymore? we lived together. would she kick me out?
"Hampus, i can't go over there. you know how much i hate doing things like this," i said, tugging on his shirtsleeve. "i don't want to cry anymore today."
he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, avoiding my eyes. "you can't run away from everything that scares you. and whether you like it or not, you'll have to go back to that apartment anyway, so i suggest you go back today and get it over with now."
i nodded, realising that he was right and i would have to go home at some point.
"okay," i smoothed my hair with the palms of my hands, looking at him and saying. "come on, vi stikker. we're leaving."
