if i wasn't tired, the fact that Hampus Goode was in my room would've freaked me out. there was no doubt in my mind that he would be gone before Eve and i woke up, but seeing him in my room was still strange.
he was so tall he probably felt like a giant in a gingerbread house.
"how tall are you?" i asked, watching as he looked at the pictures on my wall.
"six feet and two inches. you're a lot shorter up close. i thought you would at least reach my shoulders."
i rolled my eyes. "i'm 5'3" not—"
"is this your mom?" he held up a picture from my nightstand, looking at me.
i nodded. "yeah. she died—"
"last year. Eve told me when i was over last month. i tried to talk to you but you wouldn't leave your room," Hampus told me.
i cleared my throat and checked my phone nervously. "it's getting kind of late—"
he'd knocked over my copy of eleanor & park. the fairly small book landed with a quiet thump.
after staring down at it for a long time, he continued nosily looking at my belongings.
"do you want me to go?" i asked, idly playing with my hoodie strings. it was getting incredibly awkward and my room was starting to smell like alcohol. it remind me of Anders and it was making me sick.
"it's your fucking room." he laughed rather loudly, a smile on his face. "why the fuck are you asking me to go when i'm in your room? that's why i fucking hate this place."
"what do you mean?" i crossed my arms and leaned against the wall.
"i've never liked Stockholm. the language is fucking stupid; swedish literally sounds like shit. the people are boring. they all think they're hot shit when they're literally the fucking same. you can never have a different opinion because everyone will fucking bash you for it," Hampus was counting off all of the reasons with his fingers.
"you say everyone like you've spoken to the entirety of Stockholm."
he shrugged. "they're fucking lames."
we were both quiet for a long time. i couldn't help but think about how angry Andres was when he heard Hampus' song about Stockholm on SoundCloud.
he talks all this shit about Stockholm like he isn't stuck here. jävla manisk. fucking manic. that's why he's always drunk. i want to beat the shit out of him.
ironically, i liked the song. i listened to it when i was angry and punched the wall until my knuckles split.
but he wasn't wrong about the people in this fucked up city and i didn't blame him for hating the place so much. i've wanted to flee to Norway since i could breathe, but i feared the people there would be the same. i guess that's like saying siblings who are years apart look the same, but the countries are right next to each other.
"what's this?"
i looked up to see Hampus holding the recorder my mom got me when i was five. i only ever played it when i was home alone, or when i missed her.
"it's a—"
"can you play it?" he twirled it around before it slipped through his fingers and on the floor.
i tried to be patient with him but he was getting annoying. really annoying. my exhaustion grew by the second.
"i'm going to go. the bathroom's right behind you if you have to throw up or anything. and there's a fire escape if you want to leave through there in the morning," i told him quickly before snatching my phone charger out of the wall.
"wait."
i looked up at him, and for a second, i swear i could've loved him.
"what?" i asked, looking down at my phone to check the time and bring my eyes away from his face. 03.27. i need to get the fuck out of here.
"nothing," he said. "i'll be gone by morning."
i nodded and exited my room, closing the door behind me softly. after letting out a rather deep sigh i sat on the couch and stared into the darkness ahead of me.
what am i doing? how is Evelina going to feel? how do i feel?
i texted Lars.
03.45
hampus is in my room
lars <33 // 03.45
the fuck?? why?
03.46
he was going to stay outside of anders place. i had to get him away from there.
lars<33 // 03.48
didn't evelina break up with him?
03.48
yeah but
03.50
idk
lars<33 // 03.56
your so stupid klara
03.56
i know
lars<33 // 04.00
just don't let her see him
04.00
i won't
lars<33 // 04.07
okej. okay.
lars<33 // 04.07
bra. good.
04.10
i have to sleep on the couch ):
lars<33 // 04.27
you should have left him. jävla manisk. fucking manic.
04.27
you sound like anders.
lars<33 // 04.31
sorry
o4.32
jeg stikker. i'm leaving.
lars<33 // 04.35
stop speaking norwegian, this is sweden
04.35
sToP sPeAkInG nOrWeGiAn ThIs Is SwEdEn
lars<33 // 04.36
bye klara.
i locked my phone and laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling. it was weird looking up and not seeing glow in the dark stars.
why did i take him home with me? we're nothing to each other. i'm with the person he despises more than anyone in this fucked city.
i'm such an idiot.
my flashlight blinked just as my phone vibrated. it couldn't have been Lars, he just said goodbye.
hampus goode // 05.00
i cant sleep
hampus goode // 05.00
my ex girlfriend is like 20 feet away from me
hampus goode // 05.00
i miss her
the only reason why i had his number was so Evelina could call him and tell him she left her phone at his place—and she was there often.
i looked at the text messages for a minute before finally responding. i felt like an annoyed mom.
05.15
go to sleep
hampus goode // 05.15
i cant
05.18
cuddle a pillow or something
hampus goode // 05.18
IT ISNT THE SAME LARA
05.26
it's Klara
hampus goode // 05.26
i know
hampus goode // 05.47
can you just come back?
i groaned. it was impossible to sleep when he continued to message me, even after i'd left him on read.
after glancing at my phone and seeing the last message i walked over to my room and opened the door. the lights were off, his face only visible because of the green christmas lights and glowing stars that decorated my room.
