Blame it on the cat. my true story summary

Blame it on the cat

My name, a name. It can affect everything. Maybe, Gertrude? Will that change people's views on you? A name is just how people address you but it counts as a starting line a lifelong race. Will you start ahead of all the Sofies? Or behind all the Maddisons?

My name, Alex. Simple. Basic. Plain. I attend a simple school, not a lot of funds in the school's pockets but they always get good results so the parents agree it's the best school for their child.

A school down the road have money but bad results, children who don't have the best attitudes go there because of their parents or how they're raised. Most children who misbehave or believe the world owes them everything aren't raised by the term society created as right. Their parents may have given them too much or too little as they age.

In my school, we have basic unannounced groups for friendship, categories.

A group for 'thots.'- Pretty popular girls who only care about their looks and which 'fuck boys' like them.

A group for 'Bodders.'- People who know what they're doing and try hard for a successful future.

A group for 'Fuck boys.'- Popular boys who have to mean to people, if they don't they wont be accepted in their group anymore, they have to fight and be tough and gutsy enough to challenge teachers and authority.

A group for 'Class clowns'- They always have to be making jokes, they're light-hearted but if they suddenly can't think of any jokes they won't fit into the group anymore.

A group for 'misfits.'- None of the above. No criteria. Fat, tomboys, not funny, no common interests with the other groups, dumb, ugly, retarded or just plain hated.

I'm a misfit, I'm that one puzzle piece that's been bent or broken so I don't fit in the puzzle of perfection and society anymore. I have thick hair that takes an hour to look acceptable each morning, I can't get good grades and I can't concentrate hard enough to study non stop, I don't like what girls should like, I'm a tomboy.

I have a tutor and the start and end of each day, I sit at the back in the corner alone, two 'class clowns' to my right, a 'thot' in front. They always talk across me, the thot in front always uses my desk to lean on so I just push my chair back and use my legs as a table so I can draw in my notepad so I don't look so lonely and bored. I ignore the shouting and stressful aura of the room created by the teacher becoming stressed over the room of thots, fuck boys and class clowns. 

The worst tutor class in school.

I sit in the corner and ignore it all, I pull down the long sleeve shirt of my wounds and ignore it all.

At home I have 4 siblings in a 3 bedroom house, I share with both my 8-year-old sister and my 2-year-old brother why my 15 and 17-year-old sisters share a room. I'm the middle child, 14 Years old.

I sharpen my nails with a nail file into a point for self-defence against anyone that wants to push past me or try and steal my clip-on tie. They have one other use too though, when I'm stressed or angry I take a shower and cry or go to bed and silently weep away my emotions but if I can't cry no matter how hard I get I get tense, angry, stressed. 

I don't cut, I scratch. It leaves patches of red in my skin. If I touch them they sting, there's no blood and the more you do it the number it gets and the easier it gets so I do it deeper and deeper each day until my mom notices the patches.

I stop scratching and survive through another silent day if ignorance, and another and another and another until they all blur into one long never-ending day of depression. I want something to change and I fear I'll go mad. A scar or two maybe to show I'm different to show I have something significant about me. 

1 scar, 2 scars, 3 scars, 10 scars, 20 scars 30 scars, 32 scars...

I get to school, short sleeve shirt, arms crossed. I sit in my corner away from it all. A ghost. Until someone notices the red, they define me by this red. All they see in this red.

"Did you cut yourself?" A girl, the girl in front of me, not concern, curiosity. If I'm too open I'll seem desperate.

I slip on my blazer, "It was just the cat."

"oh..." She turns around, the attention gone, the short burst of recognition.

If she knew me, she'd know, I hate animals. It's a simple fact about me. She doesn't get to know because she doesn't know me. She's denied the facts because she doesn't know the other facts.

History, I sit my two class clowns and opposite a Bodder.

"How did you hurt your arm? You put a plaster on it it could get infected." A bodder, kind, gentle, curiosity, not concern.

"It was just the cat."

 fuck boy, "What'ya do to y' arm?"

"It was just the cat."

Bodder

"Just the cat."

Class clown

"Just the cat."

Thot

"The cat"

Bodder

"Cat"

Fuck boy

"cat"

Misfit

"I'm just a little stressed." A misfit, she's nice, but not a genius, she has too much weight to be a thot and she's a girl so she is thrown from the other groups, a misfit.

A misfit can understand you, can show concern and not just want something to tell her friends or not that she just wants to know what other people don't.

I can talk to a misfit and soon I talk to more misfits and we form our own group, 'Freaks' That's what people call us. That's what I get called every time someone nocks me or insults my friend and I insult them back 'freak.'

Freak is a term for people who physically or mentally don't fit into society's formation.

/_\|/_\ This is a true story of my basic life. I have scratched and cut my wrists but not cut deep enough to bleed out only to scab over. My friends who don't fit in noticed and they try and help me out whilst I hear about them and their lives and help them out. We've learned to accept each other with our good and bad points, quirks and traits mixed together. It's mainly me that gets called a freak because I never fit in, One friend was once a bodder, another once a thot, another once a class clown and another was the new girl. I was always a misfit. I just found more misfits so I felt like I fit somewhere but I know I'll still always be known by everyone as a freak./_\|/_\