Iron-Dad and Spider-Son One Shots

Language

No one's POV cuz I'm cool
"Right, Kiddo. You know the plan?" Tony asked.
Peter nodded in confirmation.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y, you recording?" Tony questioned.
"Yes, Mr. Stark. I am currently recording from three different angles and recording with five hidden microphones." Karen's robotic reply came.

They were ready.

Tony was first to dive into this exciting mission.
He strolled into the lounge where none other than Steve Rodgers himself was sat, polishing his dinner-plate size shield.
"WHO THE FUCK DRANK MY COFFEE!?" Tony demanded.
"Language!" Steve scolded.
"I'm sorry..." Tony added sincerely. "Whom the fuck drank my coffee?"
"Tony! Language!" Cap repeated.

Phase one complete. Now it was time for Peter to come back Tony up.
Peter took a deep breath and strutted into the lounge, holding a very expensive phone.
"What's up, fuckers!?" Peter yelled.
"Why do you have my phone!?" Tony yelled back.
"Fuck you, that's why!"

Steve stiffened. "Tony, you're foul tongue has poisoned the youth!" he accused.
"Actually I'm just not a pussy and say whatever the fuck I want to." Tony corrected.
"Big ass mood." Peter added cheekily.

"Language!" Steve gasped.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, play "My Neck My Back". Tony commanded.
Speakers shrieked and a familiar tune came on.

Steve listened to the first line before his hands shot to cover his ears.

"Turn it off!"

"Why the fuck would we do that?" Tony and Peter asked in unison.

Captain America couldn't take it much longer.
"FUCKING LANGUAGE!" Steve burst out.
"Did you get that, Fri?" Tony hoped.
"Every second." the AI replied.

Peter and his mentor high-fived before walking away from a shook Steve.