Living with Delinquents

4 : Zero's Secret

"So what were you going to say?" Chaos asked me after he turned off the television. We were all now seated down. Adrian gave me a side glance, and I knew he figured it out.

"Well, I was going to tell all of you about my assassination of John Fuentes, but the news beat me to it. So yup, I got a text from my father and he gave me a mission to kill him." I looked at their faces, and the only one who looked shocked was Chaos.

"What? How? When did you leave?!" Chaos questioned me.

"She left last night. I caught her when she came in," explained Adrian.

"But I thought you said you were done with killing." Xero added.

"I did, since I don't want Lea thinking it's okay to murder someone. But I can't stop. Okay!? I love having the rush of almost being caught, the feel of blood on my hands, and the way the light goes out in someone's eyes. I know it's not right, but I can't help it! I'm fucked up! It's what I've been doing for so long, I can't stop. I know I need help, but if I do tell them, they'll take Lea away from me; and I don't want that. I know I'm fucked up in the head, but I want to be a mother Lea could be proud of, and I know right now I'm the worst mother anyone could have." I exploded while a single tear streamed out of my eye. "I'm trying my hardest, but it's not easy... at least I'm trying.."

Adrian came over and held me, while I started to sob. I grabbed onto him and let it all out. The feelings I never acknowledged but knew where there. That I wasn't supposed to be able to kill so easily. That it wasn't normal, and certainly wasn't okay. But I just ignored it, but all those feelings got enhanced.

I pulled away after I calmed down, and thanked Adrian who just gave me a smile. Immediately after I pulled away from Adrian, Chaos consumed me in a bone-crushing hug, with my head on his chest (Was he always taller than me?). I was shocked, but felt grateful. I returned the hug, while I snuggled up closer.

"We'll help you! You can do this Avery! We'll do everything in our power to help you. And don't ever say you're the worst mother, because you are the best! We've all seen it. We've seen the way you try to keep Lea smiling and happy. We've seen the way you've looked at her, as if her happiness was your happiness. You're the best mother for Lea, with all of your flaws." Chaos said, which made more tears stream down my face.

"God, I'm so weak right now." I said while laughing. Chaos finally let me go, but then Zero put his arm around my head, and put it to his chest.

"You're not weak. You're human, like the rest of us."

Once I heard those words, I nodded. He's right, all of them were right. If I want to change, then I'm going to have to try harder. Only I can choose what I will become. I will be a new person now, so goodbye old Avery Scarlett.

"Since we're all spilling out our secrets, I guess it's time for me to tell all of you." Xero said.

I pulled away from him and took a seat on the couch. "Tell us what?" I said with my voice a bit hoarse.

"Why I went to Juvie."

~.~

"I was twelve years old when my parents divorced, and my dad won custody over me. I could only see my mother on the weekends, and those were hell for me. She would bring in different men almost every other day. At night, I could hear exactly what they were doing, and some even tried to sneak into my room, but I always locked the door. They would try to convince me to open it, but I never did. I wasn't fucking stupid.

"Those were how I spent the weekends with my mother, all alone and scared. Practically neglected. She would leave early morning and come late at night. I had to cook for myself, and learn when to go to my room. Anyways, those were with my mother, now onto my father."