Stay • Everlark (REVAMPING)

10. to be loved

"Real."

Sweetness and warmth fizz in my body, so I turn over and gently kiss Katniss, taking her by surprise.

This kiss isn't like the others. It's slow and soft, comforting in ways words could never be. My thumb resting just under her ear and her hands running through the waves of my hair. Katniss pulled me closer and let her lips linger on mine for a few more seconds before lying against my heart beat. I wrap my arm around her as if for protection, and let the night be silent.

-

"Katniss, hurry up!" I shout up the stairs to Katniss who's been in the shower 2 hours more than she needed too. I'm dying to show her my painting, but she insists on 'refreshing herself' first. I would give her all the time she needs, but today is an exception.

"Coming, coming!" She replies, "What's so important that you needed to interrupt my precious shower time?" Katniss doesn't seem to realise that I've noticed her hair length. It's definitely been cut a few inches, resting just over her collarbone. The hairdressers in District 12 is an hour away, so she definitely cut it herself.

"What happened to your hair? It looks beautiful, but how come it's shorter." I ask; I love it but I'm curious.

"Oh yeah. I needed a change. I may have had a nightmare about Clove dragging me by the braid and I couldn't look at it without shaking." She says with the most casual tone in the world.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've helped you cut it safely if necessary." I frown at her. All I want is for her to be safe.

"I didn't want you to see me upset, I needed to do this on my own." Katniss snaps. It stings a bit, but I know she doesn't mean it.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so impulsive and I should've told you. There's something else I need to tell you. I love you." She says seconds after, eyes gleaming with regret.

"Don't worry about that, tell me later. I love you, too. Come on, I want to show you something." I reply, taking her hand leading her into my art studio.

I open the door and lead Katniss, who's eyes are closed, into the room.

"You can open your eyes now." I say, vaguely hiding my excitement.

She opens her eyes and stares at the canvas with tears welling up in her grey eyes. She starts laughing and crying at the same time.

"This- this is amazing, Peeta. You really did this for- for me?" Katniss stutters, masking her face with her baggy sleeve.

I hold her shoulders to steady her.
"It was the least I could do for you. For her. I know it's coming up to a year and a half, so I thought we could hang it up under some primroses as a memorial." I say sheepishly. It sounds stupid now that I say it.

Katniss bursts into tears.
"Why are y-you so good to me? I don't do anything special for you." Katniss' own sobs cut her off causing her to fall to her knees.

I put my arms around her and rock back and forth like a child, rubbing her back, whilst her tears absorb into my shirt. "Hey, hey, you do more for me than I could ever do for you." I whisper into her ear. Katniss makes me want to get out of bad every morning, that's enough for me.

"I need to tell you something," she chokes, "Promise me you won't get upset."

" I promise I'll try my best not to get upset, what is it?" I mumble softly.

"I saw.." She sighs deeply, "I saw Gale in town the other day. He had flowers for Prim and he called me weak because I got upset with him about why he's so normal about it." Katniss barely gets the words out, and she breaks down into a fresh round of sobbing into my shoulder.

Gale. I've never been sure how to feel about him, he's never liked me much. He was always trying to prove something when I was around before the Quarter Quell because of my obvious feelings for Katniss. But in the Capitol, he seemed more willing to be civil. The last conversation we had was about who Katniss would choose, even though she's perfectly capable of living herself and she doesn't need a partner.

But after I heard of what he did with the bomb that killed all those children, and him calling the strongest person I know 'weak', he makes my blood boil. He doesn't have the right to justify somebody else's grief to match his own standards. I don't hold anything to anybody, but what Gale has done won't be let go for a long time.

I want to find him and confront him about his ignorance, but I made a promise to Katniss not to get upset, and I keep my word.

"Are you upset with me?" Her voice whispers, childlike. It breaks my heart. "Please don't be upset with me." She begs.

"Of course I'm not upset with you. I'm glad you could talk to me." I tell her, all she needs is to be loved.

Katniss looks up at me with sad eyes, flashes me a sad smile and buried her head back into my shoulder. I kiss her forehead and hold her close to me.

"Peeta?" She croaks.
"Yeah?" I reply.
"Thank you."
"For what?" I ask, confused.
"For putting up with my stubborn
ass self."

I laugh at this, her attitude is one of the things I love. One of the many things.