Odd-eyed Beauty // hwang minhyun (#27)

One

The safest place in the world is my house, my bedroom which I liked. I had really fluffy blankets that I liked to lay down and stay here covered in them for the whole day, I could do everything in those blankets and sometimes I would do a blanket fortress and be in there until dinner time.

And in school, it would be in this place which nobody goes to. It is the school's backyard and it is the quietest place that I have been in one school. It is like my safe haven that I would get protected by all those people who bully me, those people would pick on me all day long and I would escape to this place. At least I would get my peace here...

I'm not an ordinary person, I'm someone very special from the other students and that has made me very different to them. I am made a target by them ever since I was able to attend school. Yes, since I was a toddler in kindergarten... Those kids can't even speak properly and they are already learning how to bully and mistreat people who're different from them in terms of appearance.

I suffered a lot in school, trying not to listen to their remarks about me, about my eyes and how it looked different. They said that my eyes looked very scary, they aren't the same colour, one of them is blue while one is brown. They said that I'm an alien and no one should play along with me.

And I couldn't change it back, it stayed like this no matter how much I prayed for the blue eye to turn back into brown. Even the doctor shook his head when my mother asked about that, he said that I would have to live my life with two different coloured eyes. He couldn't turn it back like it was magic, there is no way that it would turn brown ever again.

They said that contacts would help me change my eye colour in the blue eye temporarily when I was in middle school, one classmate suggested it to me and I did as what she told. I wore one brown contact lens in one eye and a clear one in the other eye, I felt normal for once as I had normal looking eyes like all the other people in my class.

Everyone started talking to me as I was a normal middle-schooler, they invite me to their birthday parties and want me to hang out with me after school. Soon, I was very popular at one time because everyone can't stop wanting me to be friends with them. I would be in crowds where random people would start talking to me asking me for their opinions, and then they would sit with me in classes and during lunch.

And at that point in time, I had made a huge mistake that I shouldn't have. I neglected my only true friend that I had, I left her alone to be with people that I don't even know that well. There were times that I would be chatting with them without knowing who they are, they were just known as Human #1 and Human #2.

I decided to stop being the popular normal kid and threw away all of my contacts, I went back to not wearing contact lenses on a daily basis and everyone avoided talking to me once again. I was that kid that no one should be talking with or there will be dire consequences, they will get cursed with 7 years of bad luck if they stare straight in my eyes for a few seconds.

I looked up to the time on the clock which is on the top of the wall and I got yelled at, this time by a short male student who is walking towards my direction. "Watch where you are looking! I definitely don't want to get bad luck at this time of the year!" He shouted a usual thing that I get shouted for.

In school, I wasn't allowed to look up to see anything to prevent anyone from looking into my eyes. So I only looked down at the floor when I am walking to make things easier for the other students and I have bumped into people whenever I do that.

It's okay, I will be able to look up once I have reached home... At home, nobody tells me to not look up or they would get 7 years of bad luck. My parents wouldn't believe this nonsense and my brother would shake his head whenever I mentioned that I would cause everyone to have bad luck.

But there is still a few hundred people who will believe that they will have bad luck if they did stare into my eyes so it is possible and I have caused a boy to have bad luck after staring into my eyes, he fell down 3 times in a row and then slipped on a banana peel on his way out.

That is when the rumour started and people became even more afraid of me, as they think that they will not get stuck with bad luck as long as they don't get close to me. I have even tried to wear sunglasses but that is against the school rules so I have no way of concealing the fact that I have two different eye colours.

I sighed and I sat down on one of the benches that were there, I took out my lunch bento boxes that my mother had packed for me for lunch as usual. I am too afraid to go to the caféteria to get food as I'm afraid that I might look into the vendor lady's eyes by mistake when I have to thank her for making food to me and the other students.

It was sandwiches for lunch and it was filled with my two favourite ingredients, bacon and cheese. I would never eat a sandwich without them, they won't taste good if it were to be filled with something else. Sometimes I would have fried yakisoba if my mother were to be in a good mood.

I took one sandwich and nibbled on it while I searched for something today for today's sharing session with myself. "Yeongwon-ah, do you know how much I like sandwiches? It is like my life, if I don't get to eat that, I would be so sad."

Talking to myself is considered normal when no one else dares to utter a word to me in school, they would never talk to me because I am an outcast and nobody is allowed to talk to an outcast, if not they will be treated as an outcast as well. Being with myself and treating myself as another person makes me happy, at least someone is willing to talk to me even if it were to be myself but another me in that sense.

"And the sun, I love that it is bright and brings smiles to everyone no matter if they were sad," I concluded another topic and I was onto the second sandwich.

"Then do you like the rain?" I dropped my sandwich in fright and I looked around to see if there are people around. No one.

"Who is that?" I asked fearful of the individual that has just spoken to me.

"The listener of your radio station." He replied and I felt the shivers down to my spine. How long has he been listening to me talk to myself?

I quickly packed up my lunch and I fled from the garden and I ran back to my class, to get away from a lunatic.