"She was a tower of strength...even when she's breaking down..."
Onika September 10th, 2016 Busch Stadium St Louis, Missouri
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I watched closely from my place backstage as Beyoncé mirrored her choreographer, there was this one move she couldn't get clean enough, and in the short time of knowing her, I knew she wouldn't quit until it was perfect.
It was crazy watching her practice though, I could definitely see her energy is the same behind the scenes as it was on stage as well.
I watched her closely this time and could see the frustration laced on her face as she tried to cut her body to the music, still missing the beat, I watched her face scrunch up looking like she was about snap.
"Let's come back and revisit in five Bey." Jackquel, her choreographer, sounded over the PA system.
He'd been working with her since forever, so I knew Hey he knew the look on her face wasn't good.
I watched her nod before she turned and headed straight towards my direction backstage, once she passed by I immediately followed behind her with Dalton, Neal, and Zerina. They were her hairstylist and stylist, I quickly learned that when it came to Beyoncé, we moved as a pack with her, along with her bodyguard.
Once we reached the dressing room I watched Beyoncé take a seat and lower her head into her hands, her right leg bouncing up and down, her breathing heavy.
We all stood silently in the room, looking at one another, I knew Neal and Zerina knew Beyoncé better then I did, but the looks on their faces told me this wasn't something that happened often to her.
"I just need makeup right now, Neal and Z I'm cool." Beyoncé said lifting her head slightly, I watched them nod their heads before leaving the room, leaving just Beyoncé and I.
I was silent for a moment not quite knowing what to say because it felt out of the ordinary to see someone like Beyoncé as shook as She was right now, but I knew more often then not people forgot she was human and had feelings too.
"Uh...you okay Beyoncé?" I asked hesitantly, I heard her take a deep breath before lifting her head and looking at me, a smile was on her face, but it seemed forced.
"I messed up my eye liner didn't I?" She asked smiling, completely disregarding my question, but she was right she had smudged it, I hadn't used my usual one for her since it was just Rehersal.
"Yea...but I can fix it real quick." I decided not to press her yet and just fix her makeup, I quickly got out the eyeliner from my cross body bag and stepped towards her, I gently grabbed her face and angled it upwards, but not before noticing the faint tear marks and redness in her eyes.
