In·fi·del·i·ty

I. All Night Long

       "Who do you love...And are you for sure?"

Onika
LaGaurdia Airport, New York
April 25, 2018
7:00am

I rubbed my eyes under my large Channel shades as I adjusted myself in the uncomfortable airport seat. I was irritated and the attitude knew I had was vicious.

I hated mornings.

I sighed and scrolled through my phone while waiting for my flight to be called. I replied back to a couple of messages, mostly from the group chat from my agency, I was a makeup artist, so we were always busy.

After replying to the messages, one more that I must have missed caught my eye, except it wasn't from the Groupchat.

Giselle🤤💍: GMorning baby, Julius is gonna pick u up from LAX when u land, have a safe flight❤️I love you.

I tried not to let it get me flustered, but a small smile tugged at my lips at the simple text. We hadn't spoken over the phone, but we'd been texting since I finalized that I was going to come and see her and discuss everything before any decisions were made.

A part of me that was bigger than I was willing to admit wanted to be jealous and spiteful about the whole thing, but I knew I had to go into this situation with an open mindset, since I'd gotten myself into it.

After our late night phone call, I took some reflection time about everything that had transpired in the conversation, and realized I was asking for quite a bit from her. I wanted her to tell him, for the latter few months of our 'relationship' it was all I wanted, and every time she said she would, but I knew she had her reasons for not, reasons she'd never verbally admit.

'Now boarding flight 334 to LAX, Los Angeles.'

I shook those thoughts off of me realizing my flight had been called, I grabbed my small duffle bag and headed to board the plane.

Once I boarded the plane I quickly found my seat in first class, and made sure my duffle was overhead.

I was glad I had a window seat, and since it was so early I didn't have anyone next to me.

After all the preflight procedures, all electronics had to be powered off, I quickly dug in my tote and powered off my ipad mini and my phone.

I felt the plane begin to take off, my eyes fixated on the the window watching the airport grow smaller and smaller until all that could be seen were clouds. It was relaxing in a way, being thousands of feet away from everything...drama, family, friends.

I reveled in it for the simple fact of how little free time I really had. My time was always spread thin between working and traveling...and Beyoncé in a way. Even in those three weeks I hadn't spoken to her my mind was filled with her....heavily so, I tried to detox myself of her, telling myself what we were doing was wrong...until I picked up the phone...not knowing it was her, and as soon as I heard her voice I knew I was fucked. Before I met her I never really made time for anyone, except my family and friends, romantic relationships always on my back burner...that was it. But she was so...different, something about her made me want to clear my whole schedule and devote it solely to her.

I hated to admit it but she had furrowed herself deeply into my heart, so much so that even after trying to let her go, and after she pleaded me to come see her, the prospect of leaving her hurt me so much I felt it physically make me sick.

My mind always transported me back to those countless times she called me crying about her so called 'husband', who'd broken her heart time and time again. I never wanted to see her like that again.

I was hopelessly in love with her...a married woman...even if her marriage was damaged, she had entirely to much to lose...just because of me.

I tried to will those thoughts away as I looked down at my Apple Watch, it was about 7:30, and I had a 6 hour flight ahead of me.

I sighed as I closed my eyes, hoping rest would put my mind at ease...but I knew the stress would only return once I opened my eyes back up.

But if I could escape for just a few hours I would, so I let the tiredness take over me as the quiet roar of the planes engine lulled me to sleep.

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A/N

Short...but it's here finally...

Whew Chile...

I had originally planned to scrap this but I couldn't 😭

I had to think long and hard about this 🤣

Story will be mostly told in present tense and real time flashbacks if you feel what I'm saying.

But you'll definitely know when it's a flashback.

Continue or scrap it ?

Thanks for being patient and the love.

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