break free from the voices in my head

if i could fly // skz x lix

he quickly shook his head and stood up, trying to clear up the negative thoughts that had possessed his mind. he knew he wouldn't stoop that low.

a little shocked from almost happened, the blond rubbed his left arm without realizing. no one had noticed, but under the long shirts he always seemed to be wearing were scars, littered all over the inside of his arm; scars old and new.

felix quickly started brushing his teeth, not wanting to deal with what was going on any longer. he mindlessly got ready, and into bed.

the anxious boy decided not to go on any social media, not wanting to read anymore hurtful comments. instead, he continued to watch his favourite k-drama, while you were sleeping. (pls watch it its good)

'you'd think after all the dramas i'd watched my korean would've gotten at least a little better' felix thought and laughed bitterly.

half an hour had passed and felix stopped watching and started to fall into a light sleep. he was right about to drift when the sound of a door opening and laughter filling up the dorm woke him up.

"shh be quiet, felix should be sleeping." a familiar voice scolded the group. a chorus of yes' filled the silence.

felix smiled. he was glad someone cared for him enough to tell off the group but at the same time he didn't want to ruin their fun. pushing his thoughts aside, he tried to sleep once more.

and it had worked.. for a little while. felix awoke in the middle of the night, stomach and head both aching. he had tried to ignore it, but after a while couldn't.

the boy got up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water (because in his opinion milk is absolutely disgusting). the lights in the kitchen were on and chan was there, working on his laptop.

noticing the noise, the elder turned and greeted felix. "hey, can't sleep?"

felix nodded. "why are you still up hyung? it's almost 4 am" the blond asked, clearly worried for the leader.

"gotta finish up this song. it's almost done but i'm stuck." chan sighed, stressed.

felix brightened up a bit. "hyung let me help you, please." his dream had always been to become a producer, but the thrill of performing on stage lured him in to become an idol.

"i don't think so, felix, you should go to sleep." the brunette denied.

"wow, what a hypocrite, hyung. just let me help you, please." the younger retaliated.

and so the two worked on the song for an hour, getting more done than chan could ever by himself. they finally decided on naming the song for you before the leader turned to felix and smiled, sleep taking over him.

"thanks, felix. you've really helped me out here. we should get some sleep now."

they both headed off to their rooms and laid down in bed. chan fell asleep right away, but voices ran through felix's head. hurtful voices.

'why would he even like your trashy lyrics?' 'he's a producer, you can barely rap' 'he was probably just being nice' 'he's going to restart tomorrow, you know you can't write for your life'

the usually bright boy sighed, but didn't get out of bed this time. instead, he lay in bed, giving in to the mean voices in his head. they told him he was worthless and couldn't do anything right.

the words cut like knives, his arm started to tingle and itch; this sensation only came when he needed to get his emotions out. they hurt even more when felix realized it wasn't just his own voice. the voices of his members, jyp, the fans, all telling him off.