1,000 Ways To Die While Wearing Pants

I'm On The Highway To Hell (Pt.1)

Well with that lovely note, we all took our seats around are some what decent looking legit enough to pass for normal dinner table and BUST OUT THE CEREAL! WHOOT! WHOOT! But right before we had our milk battle we were interrupted by my name. My full name. The name I despise so much.

"IGNEOUS SHEPARD'S!!"

There is only one person I know who has the balls to call me that. Hades.

I basically threw a mini bitch fit and stormed out into the livingroom to come face to face with the assfuck who brought me into this mess. With my friends only two steps behind me.

Hades what the FUCK are you doing here!? *hand ON hip* "I see you have redocorated."  *sigh* Hades, your presence alone is annoying. I don't need your bullshit. "Hah. Your stil as straight forward and stupid as ever."  *growl* "But aside from that, I have come here for a reason. I am *enter smart word for pissed off here* that you would take advantage of my power like this! How DARE you make friends and enjoy life!" How dare I enjoy life!? Hades! What the fuck is wrong with you!? You told me three years ago that I needed to 'learn how to live life' and find it's meaning and shit! Well I am! So with all due respect, FUCK OFF! "IGNEOUS SHEARD'S! YOU WERE A PROBLEM THREE YEARS AGO BUT NOW YOU'RE JUST A MENACE! I THINK I KNOW HOW TO--" "Who is THIS mother fucker!?" "Ssh! Ameil not now......I'm actually surprised Jenny hasn't interrupted yet--wait where is--JENNY NO!" "SURPRISE ATTACK! WOLOLOLOL!!" *bites Hade's* "Aah!!" *flips Jenny off* How DARE YOU! Do you know who I am MORTAL!?" "You're fucking DELICIOUS is what you are! HOHOOH IS old pedo blood taste WAY better than your's does! Mnmm!" ........I...uh...I.......BAHAHAHHA!! BITE HIM AGAIN! "OKAY! :D" *chomp* "JENNY WILLIAMS! You do NOT know who you are messing with! I can destroy you!" "Dude......how da fuck do you knwo my name? o_O Are you stalking me!? I WILL BITE YOU AGAIN! AND THIS TIME I'LL TRANSFER SOME METAPHORICAL RABIES UO IN THIS BITCH!" "You stupid human! I am a GOD. I know EVERYTHING! And I know that you Igneous Shepard's are trying to cheat me in my own game and that you need to be punished!" Cheat you at your own game!? This isn't a GAME Hades! This is life! And you're a real assdick if you think you can just wonder around and ruin it for everyone! "Hahha Oh Igneous!" STOP CALLING ME THAT!! FUCK MAN!! I told you before that I HATE the name so WHY must you INSIST on using it!? "Igneous *twitch* if I'm not mistacken, I would think that you're exactly the same from when you were--" "Hey Hades will you sign my chainsaw?" "What?" "Well.....you're the god of death and stuff.....chainsaw bring death.....giant bloody pun..." "Go away child! I am TALKING here! How dare you inturrupt!" "my chainsaw likes talking too.....would you like to hear some of his stories about slicing conceited bitches in forths?" "...Charming." Urgh! okay Hades! If you can't tell, were all trying to have a wonderful fucking day with cereal and ding dong ditching so let us be and go back to hell already!? Or on second thought.....hey guys....do we happen to have any....SALT shakers? ;D "Igneous Shepard's!!" Fuck You! Lets bring on the salt guys! :D" "Psh! Salt is for the week! WE SHALL USE HOT PEPPERS AND PAIN!" Oh EXCELLENT plan my dear Frankie! ;D Pain he shall receive!

We then spent the next.....2 minutes? Attacking Hades with....everything in arms reach. Kitchen chairs now became throwing chairs, cereal milk was now used for creaming Hades, and those bloody hammers from last night were re used as well. IT WAS GLORIOUS! :D But then he went all crazy power death god again.... IGNEOUS SHEPARD'S!! I came here to warn you to lay off with abusing my power! But it looks like your stuborn stupidity has taken over your self control once again! You will pay for this Igneous! I'll get you in a way you'll never exspect!" "Wao! Watchout! We got a rapist amidst!" Bahhaha-- "YOU WILL REGRET THIS IGNEOUS! ARGH!!" *does this majestic disperse thingy*

We were all dead silent for a minute before doubling over in laughter almost pissing on each other. HAHA DUDE WE ATTACKED THAT FOO SO HARD! XD "HELLZ YEAH WE DID! But seriously.......he really IS an asshole! I hope he gets struck by lightning in the balls!" Hah! Me too Chloe.....me too! "Well now guys! Shall we get to that Ding Dong Ditching!? :D" Indeed we shall! ;D "Well than lets get this done! We can stop at the bakery to get lemon pies to shove in the faces of the innocent as they open their doors!""DUDE THAT'S GENIUS! :D But when we get arrested....again.......let ME handle it! ._." "Shouldn't we let Mikey handle it? He IS the .....muturest person around authority! He can get us out of shit." "I CONQUER! :D" "Bhaha okay bitches! Okay! I'll save our buts when we get arrested!" Hmm....OKAY! :D Lets go then!

~Hade's POV~

ARRGH!! Igneous and his friends think that they can outsmart me at my own game! I'll show him! He'll never know what hit him! I'll attack him when he's at his most venerable! I'll--*smirk* Wait a minute.....I DID tell him that he had to learn the meaning of life didn't I? Well.....he has friends, a job, a proper house, and he's enjoying it.......it looks like he completed his task. I think he should be rewarded. Hahha Yes. Congratulations Igneous Shepard's.

-------------------------^---------------------------------------^-----------------------------------------^-------------------------

 ~Frank's POV~

*Yawn* Well that was fun! :D Well aside the fact from almost getting arrested for trespassing, insulting an officer, and destruction of doughnuts.....IT WAS GREAT! But now being the asshole I am, I'm going to finally get my revenge on Jenny by waking her up super early after she went to bed literally three hours ago.........huh.........how the hell did I get up this early? o_O MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIE--NOT NOW FRANKIE! *SLAP* Nyehh! D: Okay! Okay! Well.....lets do this!

I lined up all the pots and pans we had in a giant circle around my friends, and then filled each one with fire crackers. Now time for the show.

10

9

7

4

3

5

2

1

BOOM! POO! POW! LE CROOSH! BAM! ERHUHG!! *that last one was broken* BOOM! PLEW!! WOMP! BOOM! "AAAHHH!! FRANKIE WHAT THE FUCK!?" MWHAHAHAHA! WHAT BITCHES!! REVENGE!! *Freddy Mercury Pose* "Argh! -_- You're an asshole mushed together with the biggest asshole in the world!" So you're calling me-- "One massive piece of butt!" Hhaha I'm good with that! I'll get all the ladies! ;D "Oh! Shutup!" Well Jenny........it's called revenge! INHALE IT'S GLORY! "Do you REALLY want to go down this lane without socks on again? o_O" I uh...hjafjsgkh PANCAKES!! *runs off to the kitchen* "Hahah! Well geese! How did IS manage to slepe through all this? It was loud enough to wake up the neighbors! ...SCORE! ;D" "CHLOE THAT IS NOT A SCORE! That is a very amusing accomplishment." "...What's the difference crack momma?" "A pizza to the face." "Nyehh......." OKAY GUYS! I got frozen ice cream chunks! Lets wake up IS! ;D Without hesitation, we all surrounded IS's limp body and dominated his soul with frozen goodness!! MWHAHAHHAHA--Why isn't he reacting? Urh guys......IS is either REALLY tired or the magical donkey burst onto the room on a tortilla again and kicked his ass in sign launage. "GUYS!" *everyone stops* "I don't think he's kidding......he looks.....dead." 'BAHAHA Oh yeah! Well urh what time is it?" "Jenny it's 12:37! -_-" "Something is wrong here...." *checks IS's pulse* "Oh my god!" What bro!? "He....doesn't have a pulse. He's not breathing. He....He's really dead."

END OF PART ONE

(A/N: OH SHIT! HADE'S BE BACK BRO!)