1,000 Ways To Die While Wearing Pants

I'm On The Highway To Hell (Pt.1)

(A/N: HEY GUYS! :D I'm actually goign to update this now instead of waiting an entire month or so before my lazy card times out.........ENJOY! :D)

~Hade's POV~

Hahah! Stupid Motels and their souls! *vroomswoosh* Hah, that's my favorite part of death. Every time a mortal dies and they lived their life in the worst way possible. I get their soul. It makes me stronger and gives me more power. I basically feed of of them. But sometimes people make the right choices and go to Heaven and I get no souls. That's when I come in and fuck everything up. Like this guy for an example. Steven Wormwood. (A/N: psh! I'm watching Matilda leave me alone! ;D) He was living a WONDERFUL life! Until I visited him two weeks ago and told him that if he didn't murder his neighbor his wife would die of cancer. Hahhaha, PITIFUL human. Falls for every death threat out there. That's the thing about humans. There weak! Well I'm bored....lets see.....daily checklist.

. Ruin people's lives--check!

Yeah......I'm basically finished for the day.....how about we check up on are old friend Igneous Shepard's. It's about 10:26 ......PERFECT! I'm just in time to see his miserable soul die...AGAIN. *cackles* I turned my attention to the surveillance camera recording Ignneous's life but when I got there I was NOT happy with what I saw. Not happy at all.

I watched as Mr. Shepard's walked into view with an amused look on his face and declared 'It's Time' and then out of nowhere, five other people came up next to him with hammers, chainsaws, and golf clubs and started attacking the boy until he died. They then proceeded to sit around him laughing and some were even chewing on his legs. Hmm. SO they think this is funny do they? To abuse my power like this and fulfill the job that isn't their's. Killing humans. THAT'S MY JOB! MINE! And if they think it is so AMUSING. Hah. Well lets just see how amusing it is tomorrow when I give them a little visit.

~The Next Day~

~IS's POV~

Seriously IS.....How the FUCK did you manage to let Mikey convince you that letting everyone attack me with chainsaws, hammers, and golf clubs was a good idea!? o_O *sigh* Well this is what I get for making shit stupid ideas.....torn clothing, blood everywhere, and I think i'm missing some hair..... Nyehh! oh well I think it looks pretty damn awesome! NO! *SMACK* No you don't IS! This was a terrible idea! How dare you! But I--NO! *SMACK* YOU *SMACK* ARE *SMACK* A MAN! *SMACK*

...Did I just beat myself up n my mind........ytwuhdjs I'm just going to call it self encouragement and move on. *W* Well now, I'm WAY to damn lazy to clean up so.......yeah........POPTART TIME!! WOO! WOO! I ran into the kitchen and dived onto my precious Smores flavored pptarts before Chloe and Mikey could get their hands on them....they are obsessed with the poor things. Like some kinda meat rampage without the meat.

"Aah Sweet! Bhaah dude we fucked you up GOOD last night!" Heheh well first of all Frankie, that sounds REALLY wrong..secondly....I KNOW ISN'T IT AWESOM--*self smack* Oww! D: "......Well okay then....BAHAHA YES! ONE GIANT PILE OF FUCKING UP!! URHUR!!" "Hey IS can I see part of that poptart?" I thought you hated Smores poptarts Jenny? o_O "I do.....GREATLY....I just wanna try it.....It's challenging me!" .......Nyehh seems legit.... "YAY! :D" *rubs a piece of poptart in IS's blood" "HEHHE THE FOOD OF A WARRIOR! OMNOMNOM!"  D: nhgsds Bhaha what the fuck!? *everyone stares at Jenny with a horrified expression* "OMNOM--What? :D I was curious!" "T-That is not surprising to me at all...but....well.....do you LIKE it? o_O" "Actually Mikey......yeah....I LOVE IT! :D Bhaha seriously guys, if everybody's blood taste like IS's does....I would GLADLY be a vampire! :3" "Yeah........I think we need to buy her a cage..." *HISS* Bhahaha dude that would be awesome! Jenny as a vampire? It would explain so much! *THINKING FACE*