1,000 Ways To Die While Wearing Pants

A New Beginning

The next morning at exactly 6 am......

~IS's POV~

I woke up the next morning felling like crap. My chest hurt like hell, my body ached, and I probably smelled like homeless person's foot! I looked around and noticed I was in a hospital. OH SHIT, DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE NEEDLES ATTACHED TO ME!? I absolutly HATE needles more than anything in the world. There cold, long and pointy, and the fact that they can take blood out of your body isn't a pleasent thought either. I was realived to see that no needles were attached to me. Actually, nothing was attached to me. Everything in the room was off. The machines, the thing that tells you your pulse, even the lights were off! Weird. Just as I started to get up a nurse walked in the room with her full attention on whatever was written on the paper in her hands. Uh, Hello. Can you tell me what I'm doing here? My voice must have scared the shit out of her because she jumped, dropped her papers, and started to turn white as a ghost. "Y-Yo--This isn't possible! You were dead!" FUCKING HADES!! Heh, sorry to disappoint you but I'm alive now so can I go home or... "Oh, Uh yeah of coarse...just let me talk to my.....You really were dead though!" Suddenly I felt sick and depressed. So when I die every night, I really do DIE. I better die in private so this doesn't keep happening to me. I guess I'm just lucky then! I said putting on a fake smile.

About 20 miniutes later I walked out of the Hospital feeling....a lot better than I did yesterday... causing strange looks from all the doctors and nurses who believed I really was dead. I was quite ammusing but also annoying. This will get old after a few weeks. My feet started walking me somewhere without me realizing it so I had no idea where I was going, I just let it be. when I stopped I was across the street from a comic book shop? All That And More.....OH YEAH! I HAVE A JOB NOW! :D ~score~ Well lets do this then!

*DING* The first thing I noticed when I walked in this comic book store was-- HOLY SHIT THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! :D I ran right over to a shelf that held thousands of my favorite video games, comics, books, you name it! WOA! YOU GUYS HAVE X-MEN COMICS!! :D ~sweet~ While I was ranting about how kick-ass this place was, a tall,skinny guy who I assume was the manager came around the corner with an irritated, anamused expression on his face. Hey I know this guy! Jack? When he saw who I was his face expression softened and faded into a large, creepy smile. "Oh hey IS, your just on time *checks watch* 4:32...not bad for your first day." When he saw that I was fully absorbed in the comic I had grasped tightly in my hands and that I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to him, he smiled and took the comic away. Heeeeyyy! I was reading that! "Haha you can read on your own time, right now you need to get up there and start selling these comics!" Uh, fine! I said dramatically and flipped my hair! "Haha wow, your such a drama queen!" "Hey, while I'm thinking about it, let me introduce you to your co-worker, Frank." He led me to the frount of the room behind a counter and introduced me to a man who was really.....short! He looked to be about 5'4 at the most. He had short blck hair that went down to about his neck, hazel eyes, and MY GOD HE HAD  LOT OF TATS!  Hehe tAts gerrd, not tits calm down :3 "IS this is Frank, Frank, IS."  "YEAH! :D YOU FINALLY GOT ME SOME HELP!" He started to say something else but I cut him off by ninja jumping at him and attacking his many tattoos. WOA! YOUR LIKE A HUMAN PAINTING! :D "NICE TO MEET YOU TOO!" Heh. Sorry you just look really cool. He suddenly grew possible the biggest pedophile glare in the world and gave me a huge bear hug. "AWE THANK YOU! :D" "Ahem, should I leave you two to get to know each other inside your pants or are you guys goign to get to work?"  ":O JACK!? YOUR NOT JELLY ARE YOU?" "Cause we can always have some alone time-- "ALRIGHT SHUT UP ND GET TO WORK BEFORE I FIRE BOTH YOUR ASES!"  Frank and I started laughing uncotrollably knocking comic books all over the floor while Jack just shook his hed and left the room. "Haha! So IS tell me about yourself!" Huh, well I have a huge fettish for chickens and everytime I go to KFC I have a little explosion in my pants. " O_O Uh....." JUST KIDDING! AHAH! Uhm lets see, I'm a huge nerd, so I love pretty much everything here, I love rock, Love to draw, Likes to yell at sluts and ...you know, have fun! :D "Pfft! That's better! But still..NO KFC FOR YOU ANYMORE! >:D" Awe but the chickens..... "NOPE! NNNNOOOOPPPPEEEE!" he then proceded to frolic round the shop chanting "No chickens for IS! IS GETS NO CHICKENS TONIGT WOHOO!" Pfft! Asswad! That's it! I'm bringing a huge bucket of KFC to work tomorrow and eating it right in frount of him with a creepy grin on my face! >:D