The Dripping Pain

What is pain.?
People say its a feeling a person gets when something bad has happened or is about to happen.
People call it an experience in ones life.
I might agree with this.
Some even say it's a debt you have to pay.

I feel the meaning of pain has been limited to just a particular perspective.

I always ask my self what pain was. Was it just a mere feeling.

Was it just something I could just feel and the next minute it's over.

What is pain if I could be born into a poor home that can't afford a square meal not to talk of three.

What is pain if I could be born to a Dad who gets drunk and beats his wife like a dog.

What is pain if I could have a 6'9 monster as a Dad.

What is pain if I could watch my elder brother get arrested for selling drugs to enable us feed.

What's is pain if I could watch my mum beg our neighbors for food.

What is pain if I could have a dad that threatens to kill us all.

What is pain if I could watch my own Dad strangle my mum to death without any remorse in his heart.

What is pain if I could be raped by My own Dad at the age of 10.

What is pain if I could be hated by not just my class,  but the entire school simply because of the kind of Dad I have.

What is pain if could be flogged and tied to a tree outside my home. By my Dad.

What is pain if I ran away from my dad but he caught me and locked me in the toilet for a week, worse without food or water.

What is pain if I could steal just a loaf of bread just to survive but I was caught and beaten mercilessly.

What is pain?

Oh.
What is pain if I could cry all day till my tears gland gave up it's last.

What is pain if I was mentally and emotionally deranged

What is pain if I could be raped by my Dad for the second time on my 16years birthday.

What is pain if my Dad could bring his friend to do what he does with me.

What is pain if I could drop out from highschool because I was depressed.

What is pain if I could see my dad gamble with our property so that he could buy his drinks and get drunk.

What is pain if I tried killing myself on several occasions but all failed because the old man was always there to stop me but made it worse by beating death out of me.

What is pain if I could murdered all the men that my dad brought to sleep with me in just one night with just a drink.

What is pain if I watch my dad struggle for air as I pierced the knife into his throat. Blood spilling out from his mouth. His voice low as I heard him curse the day I was born.

What is pain if I could write all this In a note with my own blood.

What is pain if I could watch all the blood drip from my body slowly. My body all drying up.

This is the pain.

This is my pain.

This is the pain I want to tell you.

Although this is not all because I have no time and am dying already.

But just to let you know,

My pain has gone beyond mere feelings.

My pain has gone beyond emotions.

My pain has gone beyond just experience.

My pain has filled my tank.

And it's began to drip.

Drip drip drip.