𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐚

13 ; étrangler

22nd of November, 2018
Xavier Robson
Part 2

Dear Amaya,

Dinner was stressful, you sat in the empty spot at the end of the table and disappointment was smeared across your face. My body was stiff as I hardly poked into my food by tried for mum since she put so much effort in and the dinner was really important to her.

There was about twenty conversations going on but still I didn't speak and either did Corbyn, we just ate. The difference between us was he didn't look at you Amaya but I did. I told you I was sorry a million times but I can't ever be forgiven.

"So Xavier, you and Corbyn are very good friends I've heard?"

"Uh yes..."

"It's good you have a strong bond, we can have more dinners like this Janet!" I raised my cheeks but didn't smile, I could see Corbyn get excited but his face dropped when he realised it wasn't going to happen.

I tried to keep eating but the nauseous feeling kept coming back because you wouldn't leave and I couldn't focus on a single thing in the room or the words coming out of peoples mouths.

"Amaya leave." I muttered trying to gain concentration.

"Sorry what was that?" I looked up at Ashley the blonde smiling, she was absolutely gorgeous.

"Ashley please... pass me the salt and pepper." She smiled which I showed my gratitude with my eyes as she passed them. I could see Corbyn's face twisted in confusion but I let it go hoping he would. He didn't.

Later as we cleaned up the remains of the dinner, he asked into the opening

"why did you say Amaya" I flickered my eyes around the room trying to think of a way to avoid this so I pretended I didn't hear it. Rinsing the dishes I had placed them into the dishwasher and standing up I saw your hair on the couch. I wanted to be angry and sad but I couldn't be how I used to be towards you.

I stared for so long that Corbyn took the chance to spin me around and push me against the bench.

"Please what's wrong? I'm trying so hard." He whispered so close to my cheek. I stared at those eyes but didn't speak a word. He pushed further into me angry and his jaw clenched as did his fists.

"Fuck Xavier, please I-"

"You're scaring me." I whispered thinking of those terrible moments the first year you were gone.

"What? No, we are always close why-""

"right now you're scaring me"
I whispered, it felt like someone was grabbing onto my throat suffocating me and that's when I realised as the tall boy pulled away that you stood staring me deep in the eyes with your hands grasped around my throat holding so tight in the face of evil.

"I can-t-t brea-" Corbyn's face softened trying to help me but my blood was running and the flames in your eyes Amaya were burning like a house on fire.

"You're not real. You're not real." I hoarsely said again and again the tears beginning to drop out of my eyes.

"Xavier what's going on? Just breathe!"

"Amaya stop please let go I'm sorry" I sobbed my air fleeing as my lungs begged for airs but the grip you had on my airway didn't realise. I stuttered trying to gain control

"Xavier please I'm sorry I scared you but you're scaring me... breathe."

"I would switch places any day because I miss you and wish I had been better."

It was like the ocean hitting the beach, you were gone out of sight and the air flew into my lungs as I collapsed onto Corbyn puffing and soaking his shirt in my tears. I brushed them away quickly as I pushed off Him.

I sped into the living room where everyone was

"I'm sorry I'm not feeling well I'm going to bed, it was lovely to meet you" I shoved past Corbyn running up the stairs. Tears falling quickly off my cheeks. I was horrified.

I'm Xavier, I'm tough I don't need anyone.
I don't cry to people, I don't cave.

But I did.

Right to Corbyn.