Providence

Selena

I stopped my car in front of the large blue and white building, situated just outside of Browns Street. I checked the address on my phone again, just to be sure. The number 04681777200 was painted prominently on the white banner.

I stepped out of my car, locked it and checked the time on my phone. It was 4:52pm, meaning, I was right on time.
A chill ran down my back and goosebumps laid prickly against my skin as I stepped inside the cool, air conditioned area. I walked towards a waist length work table that had the word 'receptionist' scrawled over it in the same blue and white Aerial font as the colour of the building. The guy behind the desk told me that I needed to sign some paperwork before I would be allowed to enter the physician's room.

When I was done, I ambled towards her room, the name 'Victoria Ohell' written on a metal plate which was plastered onto the wall. I felt a considerable amount of change in the temperature of my body. The room I stepped into was hotter and more comfortable looking than outside. The psychiatrist was sat on a chair, cross legged in the middle of the room, wearing a white lab coat and spectacles. She welcomed me with a smile.

I sat down on the sofa, feeling nervous about the questions she would ask me. Would I be able to answer them? Should i even do this? Can She be trusted? ran through my mind as I got ready to face her.

"So, How are you feeling today?" She asked, Her voice cherish and sweet, Warm and welcoming. It seemed to lift a burden off my shoulders. It made me feel like everything was fine. But in reality, Nothing had changed.
I wanted to speak quickly, Reply to her instantly, confidently. But the words didn't come out.

Too afraid and nervous to look directly at her, I looked behind her, at the wall. Books were neatly arranged in shelves, as if they had never been touched, Never been read. Paintings, Schedules and timings were attached to the wall. Trying to speak again, I tried to make eye contact.
She was looking at me weirdly, as if trying to read my expressions. I needed to speak unless i wanted to make myself look like a fool infront of her.
I opened my mouth to speak, this time i had thought of an answer , but I choked, my throat dry and lips cracked. I couldn't speak. Too afraid and unable. She seemed to understand though as She reached out for the Jug of water sitting on a rather, small but beautiful coffee table between us.
She flicked her blonde, beautiful hair back behind our ears as She offered me a glass. She looked at me directly in the eyes, confidently. Her eyes seemed Warm and comfortable as if she was in no hurry.
I took a sip and spoke,
"Not very good." I said, carefully choosing my words, not wanting to make a mistake, My throat finally wet and lips no longer cracked.
"Would you like to tell me how you slept last night?" She asked, not enquiring about the reason why.
I Looked around further, trying to think of a reply and observe further. A clock ticked in a corner, with Maps and Paintings surrounding it. The American flag waved in a corner.
I took another sip and replied,
"Not at all." My mouth felt numb, not wanting to answer anymore.
"Why is that?" She asked with a polite expression.
I paused, shifting my hands from one knee to another, Nervously.
"The Nightmares.." I said, with an horrified expression,my voice breaking.
She nodded, Scribbling quickly on her red notepad, which rested on her lap.
"What are you regular sleep patterns? Do u sleep fine on a daily basis?"

"Not really.." I said, shaking my head.

"Okay..

"Would you like to tell me your hobbies? What do you do on the weekends?" She asked, enquiring further, eager to know. It felt like she could be trusted, Maybe it was her voice, Maybe it was Her as a whole.

"The weekends? Oh. I look forward to fish with my husband." I said with a smile.
"What do you like to eat normally?" She asked.
I closed my eyes in order to think. I really liked Chinese and Indian food.
I opened my mouth to speak, to reply to her question, but a weird thought had struck me.
"When did I have my last meal?" I asked myself. Last time I ate in college, it was monday. And now? I checked my phone to be sure, Thursday.
3 days..
"Anything wrong?" She asked with a concerned expression.
"No, No." I said with a smile.
"I like chinese and Indian food." I continued.
"Okay... When did you eat lastly?"
I gulped. Not wanting to tell her the truth, i Lied,
"Today Morning."
"That's good. Do you have any kids?"

My ears went numb and my heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes, allowing some tears to escape.

"No." I replied wiping them off with the back of my hand.
"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She asked politely with a Sad expression. It was as if she felt what I was feeling, as if our minds were one.

The bell rang for the Forty-Five minute mark and She smiled. I shook her hand with a Smile.
"It was a pleasure meeting you." She said.
"You too." I replied in a hurry, wanting to come out and never come back.
"Do you want to arrange an appointment for next week?" She asked, tilting her head slightly to the left, waiting for an answer.
I didn't know what to say, Not knowing even my own opinion. I wanted to say "No" but what came out, I regretted the moment i said it.

I exited the Clinic and started my car, which was a rusty, old 2004 Ford.

A Loud thump made me stop my car and come back to reality. I got out of my car and stared in horror at what I had done.