The Love Code (BoyxBoy)

A Day - {Extended}

I glance over at Steven to see him idly looking out of the car window. I know he's listening to Javier's strong voice coming out of the phone. This is a conversation I'd rather not have with an audience.

''Can we talk about this later Javier? Please?'' I ask.

''Sure, son. I'll make a reservation for you, Cody, and I somewhere tomorrow night.''

''You should make it for four people,'' I advise.

''Damien,'' Javier says in a stern voice.

''What? No, I'm talking about for Skyler.'' I clarify.

As much as I would love to sit down across from Steven in a weird family dinner environment I don't think either of us are ready for that. He definitely isn't ready for that.

''Okay. Call me when you get home.''

''Okay,'' I say. I nudge Steven's phone with my cheek, getting him to remove it from my face.

The car ride mellows out to an eerie silence and what confuses me is that as soon as a word leaves Steven's lips I miss the silence.

''I'm sorry,'' He speaks, clearing his throat. I throw him a confused glance and he rolls his eyes. ''I'm sorry for putting you in a bad place with Javier. I know you look to him as a father figure, Damien.''

I scoff at him. I know when he isn't being sincere. He coughs his way through the apology, rolls his eyes discretely and expects me to believe he's being truthful to me.

He doesn't like Javier, not many people do, I just don't understand why and it's starting to piss me off. Javier is a good man and he hasn't done anything to Steven for him to have this attitude towards him.

I can handle a lot of things from Steven. Including his dishonesty and secrets, but disrespecting the man that saved my life, and gave me the security to save my brothers' isn't something I'm willing to deal with.

''He is my father Steven and I don't want to talk about it,'' I say, dismissing the conversation completely.

''Okay,'' He hums quietly. I steal a look at him, he glances out the window and I can't bring myself to figure out the expression on his face.

I sigh. I shouldn't have snapped at him.

''Besides Steven, among the few things that are your fault, passing out isn't one of them. You told me you were hungry, and I didn't listen. I know you feel like shit right now considering you're going through withdrawal and all. I should've listened.'' I offer, trying to make the air in the car less tense.

''I'm sorry again, Damien.'' Stevens voice breaks through the silence three minutes later.

''For what, Steven? Stop apologizing to me!'' I say, my voice slightly raised. The silence that enveloped us before he spoke wasn't comfortable, but it was bearable. And I wish it would've stayed that way.

I hate the fact that I'm so on edge around Steven lately. I don't want to fight with him, I want the exact opposite actually. But there's just so much shit that I'm trying to push under the rug about him just to earn his forgiveness.

Like for starters the fact that he's engaged and he hasn't even brought it up to me. Well soberly, at least.

What I did to him in our past was fucked up, and I know that. I took full responsibility for my actions and apologized to him. His trust is something that I have to earn back even as friends and I'm okay with that.

But is it wrong of me to already have developed a 'trust goes both ways' sort of attitude?

I know he may not owe me as much as that but I'm getting tired of this. I don't think I can handle much more of humbly being around him without knowing the truth.