The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Seventeen} I Can't Make You Love Me

Colton pushed roughly away from the table before clenching his fist and slamming it against the table, shouting "Fuck!"

I cowered into my chair, hugging my arms around myself as I watched him across the table. He noticed my fearful look and calmed himself, his cheeks flushing.

"I told Landon we shouldn't have left you alone. I fucking told him and he kept saying you'd be fine." He lifted his head, blue eyes guilt ridden. "My drunk ass listened to him. I'm sorry, Avery."

I dropped my head and ran the tip of my pinky finger along the red linen place mat.

"It's not your fault, Colton."

He pushed his chair back against the table and crossed the small space between us, crouching at my feet so he was staring up at me.

"You know it's not yours either, right?" I jerked back the second he outstretched his hand, tears stinging my eyes as they rushed to the surface.

"Jesus Christ, Colton." I stood, backing away from him. "Just leave me alone!"

He missed my wrist by a fraction of an inch. I ran up the stairs before he could recollect himself and slammed the door behind me, burying my hands in my hair and sliding down my bedroom door as silent sobs ravaged my body.

*

It took me over thirty minutes to realize Colton was on the other side of my bedroom door. With my room so silent a pin drop could be heard, I could hear his nails tracing the door on the other side of the door. I wiped at my wet cheeks, my sniffling a signal for Colton to finally break the excruciating silence.

"Drinking your demons away won't help, Avery. Not eating is going to kill you. You can't keep doing this to yourself." He said softly.

"You don't know anything." I choked.

"You're right. I don't know what you're going through." Colton snapped. "What I do know is that I watched my father beat my mother before the drug bust got the bastard thrown in prison. I know that my mother has fought this cancer shit kicking and screaming, and now she's given up. She's not strong enough anymore."

He paused for a moment, prompting me to speak, but no words would break passed my chapped lips.

"I know what it's like to feel as if the only way to escape yourself, your thoughts, is to drink away your demons. To inflict pain on yourself because of the monster of self-loathing you've created." He knocked on the door gently. "But I've learned it doesn't help anyone or anything. It only prolongs the suffering."

"You don't know." I breathed, pressing my warm cheek against the cold door.

"I'm not going to claim I do, Avery." He responded. "But I know my Avery is still in there somewhere. I know that she's a bad ass and she's going to get through this. Because that Avery is a fighter and won't let anyone or anything bring her down."

I shook my head, but couldn't bring myself to say anything. When he realized I wouldn't be able to force a response, he continued.

"I know your thoughts are playing Russian Roulette right now, Avery. That the wrong word or action can pull the trigger on the gun. But you're smart enough to know that deep down that starving yourself and drinking isn't going to do you any good. You know it's only a quick fix."

His words finally hit the hairline fracture in my fragile shell and I shattered entirely.

"What am I supposed to do?" I whispered.

There was silence on the other side of the door for so long I thought Colton might have gotten up and left. I heard the sound of the door click and moved away, my eyes darting from the bare wall ahead of me to Colton as he turned his head and glanced out my open bedroom window.

"I don't know, Avery." He said. "And I hate myself for being so fucking useless."

***AN***

*Unedited*

I'm so sorry for the late update guys! Hope you enjoyed nonetheless.

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