Illicit (Itachi Uchiha Love Story)

Chapter 24

A few weeks later, I still have feelings for Itachi. I can't get that stupid boy out of my head. 

Why was I cursed with falling for guys who aren't good for me?

The worst part about it, that other half of me wants him even more. I was lying in bed, sulking over everything.

My reasonable side was screaming at me to stop and just forget him, but I couldn't. 

I couldn't just forget his onyx eyes. I couldn't forget his soft raven hair and his voice. 

Everyone thinks he's just a sociopath who can't feel any emotions, but they're wrong. He just pushes them away so he doesn't have to feel any pain.

He's a mystery that I want to solve. 

I rose up from my bed and finally got dressed. I needed to distract myself and I decided I'd do that by bugging Asuma and my dad. 

First, I went to the Hokage's Tower.

I opened the door slowly and poked my head in the door to his office. "Dad?"

He looked up from his paperwork. Is there a time when he isn't doing paperwork?

"What's up Kasumi? Is everything okay?" He asks.

No. I'm crushing on a guy who betrayed the Leaf Village. I'm not okay.

"Yup," I fake smiled. "I just wanted to bug you since I was bored,"

He just chuckles. "Alright then,"

I set a chair down on the side of his desk and sat down. 

I made some small talk with him and he was telling me about how he's preparing for the Chunin Exams that is coming in a month. 

"Are you going to give the next generation the Forest of Death?" I ask.

"Yes," Dad said.

He finished his papers for the Chunin Exams and stood up to give a rolled-up paper that was wrapped with a red string to a pigeon. The pigeon flew off and he sat back down.

"How do messenger pigeons know where to go? I've always wondered that," I ask.

"Well, these pigeons are called 'homing pigeons'," He said. "They're good at remembering where they live, so we take them from their villages so they return to where they live to send a message," 

I was genuinely curious about messenger pigeons. I never knew how they worked.

Dad then got a bingo book out and started making edits and revisions in it. 

Then, to my displeasure, he flips to a page and a certain Uchiha boy is on it. 

My heart started to race as I scanned the page and then I looked at his picture. 

I couldn't get my eyes off of his face.

"Kasumi?" Dad asks.

"Yes?" I ask, too quickly.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look troubled," He asks.

I didn't know what to say. I looked at the page, then at my dad. I started to feel this awful guilt building up inside of me for having feelings for our enemy. My dad would probably hate me if I told him that. He would think I'm a traitor because of how I met Itachi recently.

The guilt and shame inside of me were starting to overwhelm me and I felt nauseous. 

"I'm catching the flu. I'm going to stop by the hospital for a check-up, I'll be okay," I said.

He looked a bit worried. "Okay then. Just get plenty of rest and I'll be sure to give you a break from missions until you feel better."

I left his office and I wanted to hurl and cry. Why am I like this?

I couldn't even bother my brother because I was so ashamed and guilty. My own brother would hate me and I can't imagine how my mother would feel if she was still alive. She'd be extremely disappointed in me. 

I hated myself because I knew these feelings wouldn't leave, no matter what I did.

I decided to take a walk outside of the village as an attempt to clear my head. 

So I headed towards the gate and let Izumo and Kotetsu know that I'm just taking a walk because I'm not feeling good.

I needed to get away from the village.

Once they let me through the gate, I ran. 

I ran as fast as I could, away from the village because I couldn't cope with this guilt inside of me.

Once I was far away enough, I sat down and I burst into tears.

I cried because I couldn't have Itachi. I cried because I was guilty and I couldn't face my father. I cried because I was too stressed out and I didn't know how to handle it. 

I finished crying and wiped my tears away. I probably looked gross since my eyes were red and puffy. 

I heard someone walking towards me and I saw Hikaru again. It's surprising how often I run into him. 

He looked worried and immediately walked up to me. 

"What's going on?" He asked, already seeing how I was crying.

"I uh..."

He gave me a genuine smile. I would've liked him if I wasn't so infatuated with Itachi.

He just gave me a hug, which felt nice. I needed a hug. 

"You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable, but just know I'm here for you if you need it," He said.

"Thanks," I sniffled and awkwardly returned the hug. "I'm sorry I'm in a bad mood every time you see me. I've just been dealing with a lot lately,"

He let go and sat next to me. "It's fine, I understand how that is. When my father passed away, I pushed all of my friends away while grieving and now they won't even give me the time of day. I don't want to see anyone else go through that pain, so that's why I've been trying to help you,"

I looked over at him. "And I know we just recently met, but you're probably the first person I've opened up to in a while. I wouldn't mind becoming friends with you," 

I gave him a ghost smile. "I'd like that. I could use more friends anyway. I'm kind of a loner sometimes,"

He chuckled. "I gotta get going, but hopefully the next time I see you, you're feeling better."

He left and I finally pulled myself together for now. I stood up to head back to the village. 

I suddenly heard an odd noise in the distance and decided to go pursue it. If this is a potential enemy, then I won't have to feel as guilty because I did something nice for my village.

I followed where I heard the noise and used my chakra to climb up this tall tree and I silently lurked to see who or what had made this weird noise. My heart was starting to pound a little bit since I didn't know if this was more of Itachi and Kisame's criminal group or even those mysterious men who tried attacking me before.

I continued walking on this overgrown tree branch and reached a small clearing with a rock. There was a person sitting on the rock.

I looked at the rock to see who was sitting on the rock and my heart skipped a beat.