Believe in Me || Sherlock

Believe in Me- Chapter 42: Reflection

The front door to 221B hardly made a whisper as it opened and a tall, curly haired man stepped in. He was alone for the landlady was running the café next door and the flat's two residents were currently working. He crept up the stairs, attempting to be inconspicuous and not leave any traces of his presence. Upon entering the living room, he noticed that things were different. Bits of paper that were usually scattered all over the floor were now in piles on the desk and all the science equipment was now stuffed into boxes. Everything was tidy. The man went to stand by the fireplace and examine his skull, but something else intrigued him. He stood before the mirror and gazed at his reflection. His dark hair was windswept, making it look more messy than usual and his once bright blue eyes were dark and agitated. Although he looked like Sherlock Holmes, he didn't feel like himself. His intellectual status was still up to scratch, but his soul felt empty. Sherlock seemed to be deducing himself and was now scanning in own complexion. This is why he didn't usually look in mirrors. Tired eyes equal lack of sleep. He had none of that in the past few weeks. Tatty attire says lack of self care. With his job at the moment, he didn't have time for that.
Now, he only had Mycroft, Molly and over a hundred homeless people to speak to and have interaction with, instead of the two people his cared about the most. Sherlock had obviously faked his death, which meant that everything John and Flora had said when he was lying on the cold and bloody pavement, was heard.
No, he's my friend... He's my friend please.
Even that was painful to think about. John's words were something that Sherlock was never planning on hearing. He never understood why John had got involved with him; maybe he wanted to continue living the life of danger.
He had seen Flora and John visit his grave filled with sorrow and their face showing that they were heartbroken. Sherlock has stood in the shadows of a towering oak tree as his only friends stood exchanging thoughts about him. It hurt him to see them so forlorn and it hurt him even more that he couldn't be there with them in the darkest of times. Hearing kind things they said made Sherlock feel needed and cared about. Compliments were scarce as Donovan would call him a 'freak' and Anderson would say he was a 'psychopath.' Everyone else would say the same and push Sherlock away until he was at the very edge. He knew that people would never accept who he truly was: a sociopath, arrogant or lonely. But he wasn't lonely. John Watson had been through so much pain and suffering throughout his entire life; injury in war forced him to stop, but really, the pain disappeared after that. John had refused to let Sherlock walk alone and had never left his side, no matter what had happened. As for Flora, she was willing to stay with Sherlock until the very end. Despite getting kidnapped and shot, she always carried on and never left. Her encouragement had motivated him to move on and leave the past behind. Even though he never had the faintest clue about love, Sherlock could honestly say that he loved her. Maybe he was being blind or he just couldn't think straight, but she loved him too. Right? Flora was comfortable in his presence. Not scared that he'll pull out a gun at any moment or randomly deduce something. She was always the optimist and saw the best in Sherlock, unlike everyone else. Actual feelings, human feelings, were there and he'd never let go of these specific ones.
Flora's smile and John's loyalty had been keeping Sherlock functioning and without them, he didn't know whether he could continue living.

This would be the first of many secret visits to Baker Street, to keep tabs on things, and in between working to destroy Moriarty's network. Another two years of depression and hard work before he could finally return to John and Flora. Two years until Sherlock could finally return home...

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Poor Sherlock. He seems really upset, doesn't he?
What do you guys think? I'll be doing a couple of chapters like this, so.... Enjoy! :)
Thank you for 8k reads!