reunited love.

(EXTRA): CRACK [M]

  "Welcome, welcome fellow vampires!" The pale man shouted with dignity, his fangs polished in a grin as bright as his ivory skin. His midnight hair was slicked back with piles of gel just like a man in the eighties — or in this case, the 1800's. A cape cascaded down to his ankles as he spread his arms out as a gesture of welcoming. "I am Dracula, the first and oldest known vampire."

  Yuichiro leaned over towards Lacus with a mocking smirk playing on his bright red, chapped lips from participating in a blood-drinking contest. It was like a pie eating contest, but for vampires. Plus, what vampire doesn't want a fucking buffet of blood to gulp down? Yuichiro was a fucking blood-thirsty rouge. "He is the most cliché looking vampire I've ever seen."

  "Dude." Lacus clapped his hands sassily. "Are you fucking dense? He's the one who shaped those vampire stereotypes! The first vampire, who always dresses like a bat. So iconic~"

  Yuichiro quirked an eyebrow at the perverted expression on Lacus' face. Then, the raven's facial expression contorted into a scrunched up one. "Bro... you and Renè are going to do it with him? Fucking Dracula? Ew. He's almost as bad as Asuramaru... that kinky piece of shit. What's with you two and threesomes?"

  "Shut the fuck up, Yuichiro. You dumb bitch you are in no place to say that." Lacus grabbed the Raven's chin. "Remember when you needed medicine from drinking infected blood? But you took the wrong bottle and instead took that sex drug that Mikaela bought for when he planned to tie you up, with a vibrator up your ass and leave you there extra horny because of the drug?"

Lacus continued. "But your dense ass takes that shit thinking its medicine and comes back downstairs to continue to play video games. Then you purposely kept on planting bombs in the video game so that it would vibrate your controller? Then you pressed the damn vibrating controller against your fucking dick. And then you know what else happened? You —"

  "OKAY THATS ENOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT SO LOUDLY, GEEZ. I GET IT OK, YES I DID HAVE A THREESOME WITH YOU GUYS BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT LEAVE ME ALONE." Yuichiro yelled, in a whisper tone.

   "Ah yes~ you got fucked really well by me that day." Lacus chuckled. "You tried to dominate me but I forced you to submit. Good times ~ except for when Mikaela caught us and I almost died."

  "It's alright. At least we ended up having a heavenly foursome afterwards. Remember when we all ganged up on Mikaela?!" Yuichiro shuddered in lust. He looked around, seeing more and more vampires seating themselves into the plastic chairs, the castle filling up.

  "About sex, how was your one on one with Augustus? Did he fuck—" Lacus saw how Yuichiro's eyes widened and he knew then that Mikaela was probably behind them. "Fuck! Ah! I stubbed my toe!" Lacus tried to disguise their previous conversation.

"Ya think I'm dumb, Lacus?" Mikaela sighed as Renè winked at Lacus. "Vampires don't fucking feel pain for something as little as stubbing a toe. Plus, I already know about Yuu-chan and Augustus having sex. Yuu-chan and I have been together for a century. Literally. I trust him and he's allowed to have sex with anybody as long as it's still me that he's in love with. Augustus sent me the porn tape though. And fuck, It made me so hard."

Yuichiro narrowed his eyes at Mikaela. "Shut the fuck up." Mikaela wasn't too happy at the sound of those words, so he leaned in close and grabbed Yuichiro's chin roughly, "And? What's going to happen if I don't? Hm?"

  A smirk was sent Lacus' way by Yuichiro. "Another foursome." Yuichiro said as Lacus grinned because they were literally talking about this a couple minutes ago. "Where we gang up on you, my sweet baby Mika. Just like we did that time in the good old days."

  Mikaela's sweet, porcelain skin heated up but then a devious look sprung onto his features. "OR, my dear Yuu-chan, we can gang up on you, AGAIN, but add Augustus to the mix. You'd get obliterated, babe."

  By then, Rene and Augustus both showed up, asking what the FUCK the three were talking about before Lacus enlightened them.

  "You know..." Mikaela began. "This vampire party is kind of lame. Do you guys wanna dip-"

  "Yes." Said everyone else in the group simultaneously, and the five horny men practically ran to the exit with anticipation and growing boners.

  ~ you can guess what happens from here ~ (;

(778 Words)

A/N: Yes, I literally just wrote them having conversations about threesomes... foursomes.. Fivesomes??? I found this old draft so imma just post it because it's literally funny like was I on crack whilst writing this????