Not Strong Enough

Wolf

I walked fast, very happy to be out in the open air. I took in large deep breaths. And then I started feeling better. Not that I was sick or anything before, but… I can’t really explain. I was happy to be out of the place and I was sad I left. I wanted to get as far away as possible from this place and then I wanted to go right back in. This sounds like the Tale of Two Cities. I laughed out to myself.  Weird, I know- that’s me.

So, overall I calmed down. Ok, so basically, I just had a night out which, I admit had been a lot of fun. I had danced my guts out (my feet throbbed painfully at the memory), got drunk and, had a hot (probably popular) guy hit on me. So what was the big deal? It’s normal for a girl my age, right? So why the hell was I having this conversation in my head?

Right.  Because I am me.

Idiotic, I know, but sometimes you just have to live with yourself, even when you absolutely hate it.

So as I kept walking, I sang to distract myself. Anything that came to my head. This was meant as a distraction because my whole body was practically screaming in pain. I had clearly overtaxed myself tonight. Everything was going fine when I noticed what I was singing. And then stopped midway, angry and irritated with myself.

I had been singing Hero, by Enrique.

It was something that totally made me hate that song, and on second thought, I never wanted to stop. I wanted to play it again and again on a loop. What was it about the guy that was making me react in this way? I was never like that. Ever. And I totally loathed, hated this new, confused side of me.

“Aaarrgh!!?”  I sort of screeched out all my frustration. I had learnt that shouting in these situations always helped- mainly because there wasn’t much else you could do.

And then, I heard a ghostly chuckle beside me. I turned around immediately. Had I been followed? I was so dead. The place around me was totally deserted. Not a soul visible. They were all holed up in the damn club listening to the pied piper. My god! I prayed to god he would finish soon as I turned around.

If I get home safe and sound tonight, I am NEVER, ever going out like this again, I vowed to myself. I steeled myself and turned to look at Mr Chuckler.

And who would it turn out to be?

No one but Mr. Pied Piper himself.

Strangely, I immediately relaxed. Ok, not the way Bella relaxed when Edward came to her rescue but – I know he won’t have the guts to hurt me and if he does, I make him regret it- kind of relaxed, if you know what I mean.

He just stood there, smiling at me. What the hell was he doing here? Stalking me?

But I felt strangely flattered. I know, I know, stupid, sick me.

“Umm.. I dedicated my song to you.” He said.

Oh really? Glad you told me, I would never have been able to figure that out. I mentally rolled my eyes. As a response to him, I just shrugged. I had nothing better to say.

“You didn’t even stay till the end.” He said, I gathered, he wasn’t hurt or anything, just trying to make conversation.

“Yeah, getting late. Need to get home.” I said, turned around and started walking again, towards my car. Suddenly, I felt tired and all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep for years.

“Hey, Jessica..” he called out and started following me. God, he could be persistent. Irritated, I turned around.

“Back off, du...” and my face nearly slammed in his chest. God, he was standing much too close, all the way into my personal space. And a little too close for my liking. Obviously, nothing was going according to my liking anyway. I stopped short, surprised and at a lack of words. I looked up at him and his lips were very, very reachable. And pink. And thin. And juicy and wet( had he been licking them?) and kissable.

Ohmygod. This was very wrong. Kissing was totally crossing the line. It was out of bounds, restricted, prohibited, by my own standards.

In short this guy was driving me crazy.

Apparently, the gesture must have looked inviting because he leaned in.

Right towards me. My brain screamed in horror but all my ears received was static and probably my racing pulse. My body was frozen. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t move a muscle.

But his delicious lips instead of meeting mine went right to ear, and he whispered, very slowly and seductively, almost murmuring the words, “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

His breath fanned across my ear and I almost forgot to breathe. I did suck in a sharp breath but that was it. He then rested his cheek against to mine and pressed his lips to the base of my ear. I wanted to come up with a smart ass reply but there were so many emotions coursing through me at such a fast rate that I knew I wasn’t up to the task. All I came up with was a feeble, throaty, yes.

He laughed aloud, and his eyes sparkled in amusement. Hell, I liked his eyes, they were all brown and warm, and-  

“Well, then, you do have a very beautiful body.” It started out playfully, but by the time it finished, lust was all over his eyes. It was clear from the way he stared at me. But then what did I want? You know what I wasn’t sure. He took a step towards me. And another.

My breathing picked up. Just once. I wanted to taste those lips on mine, to feel his hands on my body. He didn’t even know my name. What could possibly go wrong? To hell with rules, and standards. Tonight, I do what I feel like. This time his lips crashed on mine, tasting my bottom lip, his tongue ran across it. Just then a wave of blinding red pain shot through my back. I swear, I thought it was broken. I gasped. But that gave him encouragement and his tongue gladly plundered my mouth. My mouth closed around his, and the pain in my back faded as if it had never happened. My hands moved up to his neck and into his soft thick, dense hair. Gosh, it really felt good. His hands slowly trailed along my neck and then -

Another wave of pain shot through my stomach. I doubled over and tears filled my eyes. I pushed him away and clutched my stomach with both hands, afraid my stomach would burst open any time.

He sat beside me, panting slightly, but otherwise concerned “Are you ok?”

No. I was not okay. Something was seriously wrong with me. This pain was not just exhaustion or cramps. It was something bad. Just as I opened my mouth, another wave passed through my left leg, and then my neck and then my right thigh. It was like my body was exploding. I had no idea what was happening to me. I screamed and cried. It was too much to bear. I was almost certain it would kill me.

“Hey,” the guy tried again, placing a hand on my shoulders to steady me, but it hurt terribly and I flinched, so he quickly withdrew with a quick sorry. “We need a doctor. Stay right here and I’ll be right back.” He said, got up and left.

I stayed on the ground, holding my guts in my hands and the pain kept coursing through me. It was terrible. And then, just as quickly as it had come, it vanished. Without a trace. I sat up slowly, fearing it would happen again. But nothing happened. I stood up, and – nothing. Then I ran towards my car as fast as I could. I had had enough fun. I wanted to reach home as fast as possible.

^^^^^^^

When I reached home, I was totally exhausted- physically, mentally and emotionally. So I climbed into bed without even taking off my shoes and was asleep almost instantly.

^^^^^^^

The next time I awoke, it was still dark, but I was feeling really thirsty. The jug was kept on the cabinet at the opposite wall, but I was too tired to lift a finger. I tried to go back to sleep but that didn’t happen. Gathering all my courage, I sat up. And walked towards the cabinet. Halfway through, I collapsed. I was on the floor on all fours but the pain in my body was terrible. The pain in the parking lot seemed a child’s play compared to what was happening to me now. It was torture. It was like I was being ripped into shreds by a hundred thousand knives. And then, shockingly, I howled. I meant to cry out for help, mom or dad or just scream but what came out was a howl. Terrified, I looked at myself in the full length mirror beside my bed.

A big, brown wolf stared back at me with horror filled eyes.