Finding Euphoria

4. Taehyung

Two months ago, I met two voices. Yes, just voices. I don't know if they're real, they're probably not. But they won't shut up.

Two months ago, my girlfriend, Hayoon, got pregnant. We didn't intend for it to happen, but we weren't going to love the kid any less. I loved- no I love that child. So did she. We talked about our future everyday, I was going to get a job and buy a house, and everything would've been right with the world.

Then she left.
Not on her own accord.

Her parents sent her to some sort of mental hospital. Or maybe it was a normal hospital, but god do I hope it was the first one.

The voices, tell me things, usually bad. Well, one of them does, but the other tells me I can't sleep, eat, talk, do anything until I find them again.

The other, the bad one, says things like, they're dead, both of them are dead and it's pointless in searching, you should kill yourself. You don't want to live without her.

It's right, I don't think I could live without her. But that scares me even more, the voice is right.

Hoseok is the only reason I'm not a sleep deprived anorexic right now.

He brings food into my room and forces me to look away from my laptop for a few seconds, just so that I can eat. He knows about it all. He was happy for us when we told him.

I hadn't told him yet, and I still haven't, but I was going to ask him to be the godfather.

Today, my girlfriend is two months pregnant. She probably has a list of names, for us to sift through when I get her back. And I will get her back.

I'm so close, I know it. I can feel it. All those pointless correction schools webpages will take me to something important. I'll find where she is. I want to find my child.

2 months ago

"Hayoon, will you please tell me already," I say with an impatient voice.

"I'm sorry, I have a right to be nervous about this," she replies defensively.

"Just tell me, I've been waiting all day," I ask again with a pleading voice.

"Okay, just don't freak out too much, and sit down," I nod as I sit down on the couch with her. She looks even more anxious now.

"Kim Taehyung, I'm..we're...pregnant. I'm pregnant," she manages to say through a cracking voice.

I feel my expression change from confusion, to happiness.

"No you're not," I say with a disbelieving voice.

"I am," she nods, as she pulls the little white test out of her pocket.

I read, "two lines means positive," looking at the results, there's no mistaking the two lines on the stick.

I put the test down, and pull her in for a hug, feeling a gigantic smile growing on my face. I pull away to look at her. Hayoon smiles and looks at me with happy eyes.

"You're not mad," she says with a relieved sigh.

"How could I be mad? We're going to have a child," I say, laughing a bit. She laughs too and leans into my shoulder, I put my arm around her and kiss her head.

"I love you, so much," I say against her hair. "And I'm going to love them so much too," I continue.

"I already do," she says before she pushes her lips onto mine.

"Oh my god, what are we going to tell your parents," I say suddenly pulling out of the deepening kiss.

"Don't worry, I'll figure it out," she says, trying to pull my face back to hers. Just as our lips are about to meet again, I say "I'm gonna have to get a job!"

"It's okay, you're already looking for a job," she reassures me again. Her lips crash onto mine.

I gasp, pulling away. "It is my baby, right?"

"Kim Taehyung!"
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Two days later

"Hayoon? It's me again, please call me when you get this," I leave the eighth message of  this morning. After we told Hoseok and I said goodnight , she hasn't once contacted me. Not through texts or phone calls, nothing. We usually text each other all the time, at least when we're not together.

By the afternoon I still haven't gotten a response. Concerned, I drive over to her house, she stays with her parents.

I knock on the door, and stand there for what feels like forever.

Finally, Hayoon's mother answers the door, her eyes widen as they meet mine, then they narrow.

"Get off of my doorstep, right now," she says with a stern voice.

Crap, she must've told them last night.

"I'm very sorry, Mrs Maeng, I'm here for Hayoon. Maybe we could all talk for a bit?" I attempt to make peace but to no avail.

"Hayoon and you are too young to have a child, you should've told her to do the right thing," she says with a disapproving face.

The right thing?

"Maybe we could talk about this with Hayoon?" I suggest, feeling a bit awkward arguing with her mother.

"Hayoon isn't available," she says, still stern as ever.

"What? Why," I'm starting to get worried now.

"She's gone Kim Taehyung, we've sent her somewhere for misbehaved girls, they will take care of the baby."

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a/n
This is gonna get depressing.