Black

XLIV

As a reflex, my hands let go of the tray, sending it clattering to the floor as the coffee spilled all over the place and the plate of cookies broke.

Yet my eyes remained on the boy who stood up like everyone around me.

Too tall.

Too broad.

He removed the hood off his head, revealing his face.

Not him.

Then everything started going slowly.

Niall and Ruby were by my side, their faces worried as their eyes skimmed over me.

The people who sat at the tables around me were all up, either looking at me in annoyance or looking down at themselves or their kids worryingly.

And those who sat in tables farther were also on their feet, looking at me with curiosity and wide eyes as they moved from a foot to another to be able to see me through those who stood in front of them.

Bob was out of his office, his mouth repeating the same words over and over again.

"Is everyone okay?!"

My chest tightened again, the feeling of the whole room pressing on me returning at full force.

I gasped and backed away, first taking small steps, then running to the door that led to the bathroom.

I closed the door behind me and locked it, resting my back against it as I tried to regulate my breathing.

My legs felt weak as I leaned against the sink and opened the faucet.

A knock erupted through the small room.

"Josie,"

Small black dots started filling my vision.

"Josie, baby, it's fine. Just turn the lock around."

I fumbled with the lock of the door, but it refused to turn around.

"Mummy, I can't breathe," I said in gasps, tears streaming down my hot face.

"It's fine, it's fine, you are going to be okay; you are going to get out of there, just turn the lock of the door around."

"Black, can you hear me?" An Irish voice penetrated through the door.

The world closed up on me as I sobbed, "I can't breathe."

My mother banged on the door harder, "Petal, just move the small lock under the knob of the door."

I reached for the lock again and turned it around, but this time I turned it the opposite way.

The door opened as I fell in her arms and she hugged me tightly, "It's okay, breathe, you are fine now," she said, moving her hand over my cheek, but no air entered my body.

"Think of a happy place," she said, rocking us back and forth, "remember when daddy took you and Adam to that soccer game? Remember how happy you were? And how daddy got bo-"

I shook my head as I leaned more against the sink, blocking the image that was about to form in my head.

Think of a happy place.

I closed my eyes.

Think of a happy place.

My eyes brimmed with tears.

Think of a happy place.

An image of Zoella smiling took place in my mind, but she wasn't alone. She was carried by Harry who inched closer and planted a kiss on her cheek, as they both bore broad smiles and eyes full of glee.