Safe and Secure

Chapter 20 - Jordan

The house was so quiet. 

Damian didn't have a very loud presence at all, but with him gone, this place feels abandoned. Empty. I find myself closing the doors for him so he won't run into the sides. I find myself cleaning up the dishes - especially the sharp things such as big knives - just so he won't accidentally cut himself. I find myself staring at the radio that no longer plays whatever pop-punk band it was he was listening to.

I miss him. God, I miss him. He hasn't even been gone for more than a day, but the past couple of weeks I'd grown to love him. I loved being with him. And now I only see glimpses of him as I walk through the school halls. He never knows I'm there, watching him. I do want to go up to him, but Mr. Bradley has explicitly asked me not to do so. 

"Be patient, Jordan. We have to play by the rules for now. But we'll get there, I promise. Just... Hold back this week."

But so far, we haven't made a plan yet. I've thought of running away, but that'd mean neither of us would have a diploma. In the world nowadays, this meant you weren't worth anything. It didn't matter what school you went to, but you had to have a diploma. I didn't want to do that to Damian. He'd have a hard time finding a job because of his blindness, let alone how hard it'd be without a diploma. He would never get hired anywhere. 

I didn't know how to fix this though. I hated not having my sub here. I hated that someone else was taking care of him now, even though I knew Mr. Bradley would take good care of him. If I had to choose anyone at this school to look after him, it'd be him.

But it wasn't me.

I sighed, I had to distract myself from this for a minute. Had to get my shit together. What if... My heart sank at the idea, and I felt awful about it. But it was a good idea. It'd get my mind off things, and that's what I needed right now. So I walked upstairs to find myself a good-looking pair of clothes and then I went out, stepped into my car and drove off.

-------

"Hi," I heard from beside me and I looked up from my drink. There was a cute boy, his hair black and spiky, his eyes lathered with glitter. It didn't really surprise me though, most people at the gay bar here looked like that. He also didn't look anything like Damian, and that made it better. Easier. He pointed at the barstool next to me. "Can I sit here?" I nodded at him. "Sure, hi. I'm Jordan."

"Levi," he introduced himself as he sat down. He ordered a drink and sat back, smiling at me."-you come here often?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I used to come here a lot a couple years ago, but the last couple of years, no. Haven't been here. You?"

"I'm here almost every weekend, but I haven't seen you around. I would've remembered a pretty guy like you."

I smiled at him. He was cute. But I'd come here for a little distraction, not an actual hook-up. I had to be honest with Levi, I didn't want to lead him on in any way, that wouldn't be fair. I turned towards him. "Levi... I'm already seeing someone. It's complicated right now, but, I'm just here to forget for a bit. Don't waste your time on me and find someone better. You're cute, don't get me wrong, but I'm not here for that."

Levi sighed and nodded. "I just broke up with my boyfriend, so I wasn't really looking for anyone either y'know? Just wanted to get some distraction. You wanna talk about it?"

"It's a weird story."

"Tell me?"

"I'm in Ravenwood, and my sub just got taken away from me because we didn't pass a test due to a bigoted teacher. My sub, Damian, he's blind. So we had to figure out a couple things different than the standard way of doing things, but apparently, that wasn't good." I took a sip of my drink. "And I love him. I love him so much, and I don't want anyone else."

"Damian Leigh is your sub?" Levi asked me then, and I frowned at him. My heart nearly skipped a beat and I felt my grip tighten around my glass."You know him?"

Levi shrugged and sat back in his chair. "Just saw him yesterday. He's with Quint now, isn't he? Quint's my uncle."

"Quint?"

"Quint Bradley, one of the teachers?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, he's with him now," I confirmed. I never knew Mr. Bradley's first name. "So... How's he doing?"

Levi shook his head. "He isn't doing too well, I'm afraid. Quint's very worried about him. You should get him out of there, Jordan."

"But-"

"I know, I know. Quint explained the whole diploma thing to me. But is it really worth that much when you're both unhappy? Can't you just go to another school?"

I stared at my drink. Levi was right. Was it really worth staying at Ravenwood? Was it really that necessary? I didn't know. That'd never crossed my mind. I liked Ravenwood in general, but I couldn't finish it without my sub. I didn't want anyone else. 

"Fuck. Fuck Levi, you're right." I said, my eyes widening. Suddenly my head felt clearer than it had been the past couple of days. "Oh my God, I'm so stupid."

"Go get him, he misses you too."

I grabbed my jacket and stood up. Levi grinned and waved at me. "Shoo, go!"

So I did.