November 26, 2017
For a while you're on auto pilot. Then sometimes it's taken off. You go up so high feeling better than you ever had before. Or so you thought. Auto pilot returns but then all of a sudden it's down it can no longer work you can no longer control it , it's broken. And just like that you find yourself falling. You have all the controls right in front of you but none seem to work. As you're falling you start to feel everything you don't want to feel. You crash and it's not the first time you survived the crash. Your plane hits water. You feel out of control. You feel yourself sinking. Then somehow you're rising to the surface and swimming out to shore. You're cold and alone but yet you look up and there's another plane waiting for you. At this point you've done it so many times you can fly the plane. Well of course it's usually on auto pilot because you demand yourself not to feel the pain. The plane goes up again to a bliss of happiness until your mind tells you it's time to go down again. You already know what will happen because you've done it before. But you begin to become tired and you ask yourself Can I survive the plane as your surviving it.
-Lei
