Finding Euphoria

2. Yoongi

If you took music out of my life, there would be nothing left.

I wish parents could glimpse into their children's mind, only for a second, to see what their most passionate about, what they need, who they are.

I feel like they might understand if they could see it like that.

Unfortunately, that is impossible, and even if it was, it wouldn't change my parent's minds.

Forget your silly dreams of being a musician, of becoming an idol or people enjoying the art you create. Because, it's not practical. It's not what a good son would do. It's not what is going to make us proud.

I've heard it all.

Every time I dream of being on stage, performing, rapping, doing what I love. All I can see, is how disappointed they are.

But I have to do something for myself, just this once. Every damn thing I do, is for them. So just this once, I'll do the one thing that'll make me happy.

Ya ya, it's cheesy.
I'm going to follow my dreams.

Now that I'm on this path though, I feel like a selfish son of a... you know.

I feel even worse because, I don't have it half as bad as my friends do.

Not when they both think I'm sleeping in the back, when in reality, I can hear every sob and consolation.

                                                                       24 hours earlier

"What is it you're going to tell us Yoongi?"

"Have you finally got a girlfriend?"

No, dad. I think to myself. I don't have a girlfriend, I don't have a job and I'm almost homeless.

"Well, um no, it's not about that," I say awkwardly. How am I supposed to tell them that I intend to become a musician, when I can't even complete a sentence?

"Well then. What is it," my mom seems to know what's coming.

"It's uhh..about my future..I guess," I nervously start.

"Ahh you've finally got a good job," no again.

"Uh no, I don't have a job yet. But I've started to write a few songs that I'm serious about...that I'm going to send to some producers."

"Sorry? What do you mean," I think my dad has caught on now. I've been writing music and voicing my dreams of fame ever since I was little.

"I'm going to become a rapper.. an idol, if I make the audition," I try to explain to them.

"That will be your job?"

"...yeah"

"Yoongi, I thought we had already talked about this. You can't become an idol, it's not a proper future."

"Well I know you think that, but I need to do something with my life mom, and I want to do music."

"Yoongi, you could do so much better. We know you're smart," that got me.

"I don't care what you say, I've already sent my paperwork out, and I'll be getting a call within the next year. If I don't get it the first time I'll jus-"

"Come crawling back to us, begging for money."

"No. I won't. You have to believe me, please believe me," I can feel tears coming to my eyes.

"Where will you go Yoongi? You can barely keep your apartment."

"I was going to ask you if I could stay here, and I know you don't agree with my plan but if you would just give it a chance," I'm begging now. I hate begging.

"Stop talking about it! You won't succeed in the industry!"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, we do! We're you're parents! Drop the ridiculous attitude and finish your schooling," my mom never yells at me.

"Fine then," I say through a sob.

"I'm leaving," I get my backpack and storm out the door without a goodbye. It hurts when I hear them close the door behind me. They didn't even ask me to come back inside.

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I walked until it was dark out. I wasn't really going anywhere, or looking for anyone. I just couldn't stop.

My feet hurt like hell, so I sat down on a curb and took my phone out of my pocket.

Who do I call in this situation? Not many of my friends know much about my personal life. It's embarrassing to talk about.

Namjoon.
I'd call Kim Namjoon right now.

I look back to my phone and dial his number.

After a few rings he picks up.

"Hey Joon, I uhh.. I need some help," I hate asking for help too.

"It's umm I-I don't have anywhere to..live."

Pretty soon I learned, that Joon didn't either. Well not entirely. Apparently his parents found out about his boyfriend Jin. I have no idea how, but I thought it best if I save that question for some other time.

I filled him in on my situation, and he tried his best to comfort me, but.. its pretty hard to comfort me.

Then he said,

"Well, you could come to Seoul with us."

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a/n
Hope you enjoyed the chapter and I hope my writing isn't too horrible. I think it's developing a bit too fast? Thoughts?

-Cj