Blue (The Spectrum Series: #3)

Chapter Forty-Four

Neither of us say anything and it's making me uncomfortable. I can see that he is holding himself from a lot of things: crying, screaming, ignoring me. From here I can clearly see the emotions running rampant on his face. His eyes widen with anger and his mouth curls into a hurt frown. My stomach twists in guilt and I take a step forward to try and explain, but he shakes his head once.

He drops the light in his hand and jumps off the bed. "I've gotta go," he says and brushes past me, walking out of the room.

"Hey! You didn't finish putting it up!" Riley calls after him and rolls her eyes.

"I'll be back," I quickly mutter before running out of the room. I look left then right and see he's storming down the hall toward the elevators. I call out his name and he picks up his pace, ducking his head in an effort to hide himself away from me. I sprint down the hallway just as he's turning down another one. The hallway is empty and has an emergency exit. He's in front of the door, his hand around the silver knob, but I grab his elbow and he wheels around to stare me down.

"What the fuck do you want?" His harsh tone makes me flinch.

"I—what happened with Evie?" Of all things I could have said, that was it.

He looks just as annoyed as me. "You would know if you didn't just fucking leave me."

"I had to get away."

"Without me?" He shouts.

I look at my shoes. "Yes, I am sorry."

"Where did you even go?" He still sounds pissed, but he's trying to keep himself calm. I wonder how long that will last.

"To my dad's."

He mutters something under his breath and avoids looking into my eyes. Anger radiates off of him in thick, palpable waves. I can tell he is holding back from snapping at me more than he already has. But he deserves to. I just up and left without telling him anything. His hundreds of missed-calls and text messages is proof of his concern.

"What did you say?" I ask him. I watch him rub the back of his neck and his tongue slide between his lips.

His intense eyes finally meet mine, and he lets all the anger out. Every last ounce. "I said you should have fucking stayed there. There was no point coming back here after you fucking gave up on me." I try to open my mouth to protest, but he smacks his hands against the wall behind me, boxing me under his large body and smoldering eyes. "Don't even try to fucking deny it! You turned away and ran away the second things got tough! I thought you loved me, and you just walked away. I needed you and you fucking left me."

I'm speechless and tears sting my eyes. "I..." I begin. "I am sorry, Blue—" I reach up to hold his face, but he turns his head and drops his hands to his sides. He stands up straight, shoving his hands in his pockets. I hate the feeling of guilt spreading across my veins. He won't look me in the eyes and it breaks my heart every time he denies my desperate gaze.

"You should just give me some space for right now. You had your break; it's only fair I get one too." And with that he walks past me and walks into the emergency staircase, leaving me gaping and trying to figure what the hell just happened. I can feel my heart breaking, but can I really be upset? He must have been feeling this and much more after I left him stranded at the club. Oh God. Why did I do that? He undoubtedly was struggling to grapple his own emotions and the whole Evie thing and Finn had just beat him up and—I am the worst person in the world.

"Fuck!" I yell and kick the wall and lay my forehead against it. I stay still, controlling my heavy breathing until a few minutes go by. It will hurt like hell to be away from Blue for another whole week, but I have to respect that he need his space, too. I only just came back from ignoring him a whole week myself. I want to slap myself, but I opt for smacking the wall, causing my palm to tingle and grow red. I push off the wall and walk down the hall and make a sharp right. I bump into someone and we both apologize at the same time.